March Madness

Are you a basketball fan? Have you been glued to your TV watching March Madness? Everyone in the Woodpile certainly has been. Our team has made it to the final round. Oh, you’re thinking human basketball teams. You really should tune into CSN (Chipmunk Sports Network). Chipmunk basketball is far more exciting and unpredictable. Just think about it for a moment … we have four paws and a nose to dribble the ball with. Have you ever seen a human dribble with their foot?

Well getting back to the Woodpile Furballs (please don’t ask the origins of that name), the team has historically ranked dead last. This season they gave a 1,000 seed a month scholarship to a star player and we made the playoffs. As I was saying things can be a bit unpredictable. Our star player tripped over a ball during warm-ups for the game and broke his two front paws and is out for the rest of the season. Due to injuries throughout the season the team didn’t have any backup players. The coach needed a replacement player and asked for volunteers from the audience. (Now you know why we have historically been dead last.) Mrs. Spot at that very moment raised her paw to point out a banner on the wall to her grandchildren … Well, I can kiss that 500 seed bet I made on the game good-bye. Official rules for Chipmunk Basketball have no age restrictions and no gender requirement. The only eligibility rule is you have to be part of an education institution. Mrs. Spot being a teacher qualified.

Mrs. Spot, “The ball goes where?” [This was her first time at a basketball game!]

She got the hang of nose dribbling quickly.

And mastered nose passing on the first try.

Here she is chasing a loose ball during the game.

For a grandmother, she moves faster than the youngsters. She noses a rebound.

Being a creative thinker, she contemplates pushing the ball back up through the net …

… but instead gets called for goal tending.

 “Swish!” Even as she dodges a leaf thrown by a disgruntled fan from the opposing team. (Yup, that fan got ejected.)

Mrs. Spot makes this three pointer look easy.

A half second before the final game buzzer, down by one point, Mrs. Spot slam dunks the ball for the winning score but her moment of glory comes crashing down, literally. “Oops, I didn’t do it!”

Chippy returns home from vacation

Merry and myself flew back from our tropical paradise last evening. Back to the humdrum of the burrow, wife & kids, job, and responsibilities. While on vacation I got an email from the kids at Woodpile Elementary School. They wanted to me describe what it “sounded” like to be on a tropical island. This reminded me a little too much of my creative writing class in college. I showed the email to Merry and he jokingly said we should bring the “sounds” of the ocean to the kids. What an intriguing idea. I started asking around the island how I could accomplish this. Everyone said I needed to talk to old man “Sea’munk.” I dropped by his shanty on the beach. He is fifteen years old (about 105 in human years). Long white fur, a bit arthritic but sharp as a claw. We chatted about old times for a couple of hours. Then he recommended I bring the sound of the sea to the youngsters. He gave me the name of a reputable souvenir shop called the “shell and claw” and wrote something down a piece of paper for me to give to the proprietor. Pictured below is what I ended up purchasing. Not exactly what I was expecting, but, very effective. If you have never put a conch shell up to your ear, you really must try it. You can actually hear the ocean inside of it. I am not pulling your whiskers.

I dropped by the class and the teacher was a bit annoyed, she was expecting me to read something I wrote for the class. Well, I explained I wanted to provide an immersive experience.

One of the students quickly asked how it worked. I explained you need to listen.

“I don’t hear anything.”

“Try sticking your head inside.”

“Wow, this is amazing, I can hear the ocean!”

Word spread through the Woodpile faster than a flying squirrel about this amazing sound coming from a shell. There was a line outside the school door in less than five minutes. Here is Bushy getting his chance to listen.

P.S. I got an A++ on my homework assignment from the teacher.

St. Patrick's Day 2019

Hi, I am Chippy’s neighbor Sparky. Last November I thought I would get a nice nap. I set my alarm clock for March 8, 2019. Yes, it is a special hibernation alarm clock. Well, I woke on the 8^th and hit the snooze button. This isn’t your ten minute snooze button. It is a seven day snooze button. I bet you’re jealous! The snooze went off a couple days ago. While I was considering hitting it again, I got a frantic call from Chippy. He was on vacation on some tropical island. He needed a small, tiny, minor, and insignificant favor. He promised me it came with a glamorous promotion. Well, who could turn down such a deal? I only make minimum wage flipping burgers at the “Greasy Sunflower & Fries” during the tourist season. I could use a bit of excitement in my life. So, I said “yes.” What is this favor? Good question, hmmm, I better ask Chippy.

Apparently he completely forgot about St. Patrick’s Day . He was suppose to be in charge of organizing the parade and festivities. (Rumor has it, Mom gave Chippy quite the scolding for neglecting his duties). I got a promotion to Grand Marshall and Chairman of St. Patrick’s Day. Wow, this is amazing. I have never gotten a promotion or raise in my life. How hard could this be? Chippy sent me a checklist of 10 things I needed to do. This looks easy and I have plenty of time.

Let’s check the calendar, today is the 15^th and St. Patrick’s day is the 17th. WHAT?! I only have TWO DAYS to make this happen. I have been tricked.

Item #1 – Pull St. Patrick’s Day hat out of storage in the Woodpile. Boy, I never realized how big the Woodpile was until I tried to find this hat.

If you were a hat, where would you be hiding?

I just saw the hat on the log I am now sitting on. What happened? It is a leprechaun hat and moves all on its own. This going to be a bit challenging.

I finally “caught” it.

I better say a prayer to St. Patrick, it will fit me.

Item #2 – Order St. Patrick Days sunflower seeds for the party. …Phew, my air mail package from Ireland arrived in time.

What was in the package? What else shamrock sunflower seeds from Irish farms. They’re green!

I better taste test them. Yuck! Guiness flavored sunflower seeds.

The secret behind Guiness flavored sunflower seeds.

Surfing and Parasailing Lessons

Merry and myself are still soaking up the warm weather and tropical sunshine. I got an email last night from the “regulars” at the Blackbird Tavern at the Woodpile. The Woodpile has experienced a couple of snowstorms, unusually bitter cold temperatures for March, and single digit wind chill factor. The Woodpile has been shrinking at an alarming rate with the demand for firewood to keep warm. I beginning to think us chipmunks should evolve to migrate south for the winter like the birds do. I didn’t realize how much we were missing holing up in our dens all winter.

As you may recall, Merry won the sand castle contest. The prize was surfing and parasailing lessons for two. Merry kindly asked me to join him. (I think he was feeling bad I ended up in last place in the contest. My castle got washed away by the waves before I finished it. – A minor miscalculation on my part.)

The science nerds amongst my blog followers have probably already worked through the physics of a chipmunk surfing and parasailing and are shaking their heads – “Impossible!” The average chipmunk weighs in at 2 to 3 ounces and would be tossed around in the surf like a cork. A chipmunk size surf board doesn’t have sufficient surface area and weight to work. A chipmunk size parasail will not have enough surface area to generate lift to get airborne or otherwise a strong gust would blow me out to sea never to be seen again. (If that happened where would you get your weekly entertainment – the sweater crocheting blog?)

By now your thinking, Chippy is trying pull the fur over your eyes with some tall tale. Seriously, some of the greatest chipmunk minds have worked hard to solve this problem. What?! Merry just informed me the resort hired my cousin Vinnie the P. to solve this. I go on vacation and I still can’t get away from my relatives. … where was I? … Turns out the solution is not try to miniaturize the equipment. Instead the resort hired some human instructors from Hawaii and California. We critters get strap into harness attached to the instructor (sort of like tandem sky diving in which a person gets strapped together with the instructor.)

According to the instructor, these are the biggest waves they have had all season. Three to five foot waves don’t seem all that bad to you. But to us chipmunks, they are nine to fifteen times our height. The human equivalent would be forty-five to seventy-five feet in height.

Time to swim out on the board to catch a wave

I caught a wave on the first try! (With a little bit of help.)

Parasailing involves combining a parachute and snowboard together. (click to enlarge photo)

Close-up of the sail

It is a very versatile sport. You can water ski …

 

 … or catch some air …

 

 … or simply fly!

“Best Buddies”

Sand Castle Contest

Well, that was an interesting first day. Sorry to disappoint everyone, I didn’t go ka-boom! Apparently I found an old WWII training sea mine. All bang but no bite. (That’s why it was painted pink to indicate a training mine instead of the real thing). I loved it! They think of everything at this resort. They cater to the adventurous ‘munk. Hold on Merry is whispering something in my ear … Oh, apparently the resort had nothing to do with this …

Today, is sand castle building contest day at the resort. The winner gets free surfing and parasailing lessons. I made a side wager with Merry: whoever got the lowest score would have to make the other fresh paw squeezed cold lemonade. Don’t tell Merry but I just bought a sand castle making form. He doesn’t have a chance at this one.

I am guaranteed to win with this sand castle mold!

I even have a chain for my drawbridge

I seem to be experiencing some “technical difficulties.” The waves of the incoming tide are washing my castle away. Merry this is not a good time for vacation photos. Give me that camera! [Announcer] “Five minutes left in the contest.”

This is the sand castle that won the contest. Wow, pretty impressive.

I wonder who built it?

Here comes the winner … oh no … it can’t be. Merry must have inherited his carving talents from his creator, Tom. … I better Google how to make fresh paw squeezed cold lemonade.