If you drop by the Woodpile, I am afraid you will find it quite deserted. You can blame it all on my ever so brilliant cousin Vinnie. Yes, that’s the cousin with dual Ph.D.s in physics and philosophy who teaches at the university. Well, it all began New Years Eve. I had been rummaging around Mom’s attic and found this old red hat with a fading label attached to it that said “Magic Hat.” I brought the hat to the New Eve’s gala at the Woodpile and starting telling some tall tales about its miraculous magical powers. My cousin Vinnie came over and pretended to be all serious. In his best imitation of a human professor’s voice, he intoned “I going to conduct a scientific experiment to prove magic doesn’t exist.” He had us rolling on the floor with laughter with his performance. Staying in character, he then rubbed the hat with all four paws and said out loud, “I wish all of the inhabitants of the Woodpile were on a warm remote tropical island.” There were more outburst of laughter but then the room began to fill with smoke and we heard a loud “poof” sound. I was thinking Vinnie has really outdone himself this time.
The smoke cleared and amazingly we found ourselves on this gorgeous tropical island. It was so realistic. I looked around to find Vinnie to ask him how he pulled this one off, was it some sort of holographic projection? I finally found Vinnie. He had this look which was a cross between total amazement and shear terror. After a few moments he muttered, “I don’t think this is the Woodpile … I think I just proved the existence of magic.”
According to the local inhabitants, we are on some remote island in the Pacific ocean. There are plenty of exotic seeds to eat but no modern conveniences like electricity. I am posting this blog post before my satellite phone battery runs out. Apparently, a supply ship is due to arrive in about four months and we can get a ride home on it. I am afraid this will be the last posting for several months. In the mean time, Vinnie has been trying reverse engineer the magic hat in hopes of getting us home sooner.
Vinnie repeats the exact steps he took to get us to the remote island substituting the wish to return to the Woodpile. Nothing happened.
He tries a Vulcan mindmeld with the hat but it is unsuccessful.
I suggested we should make an offering of the last of our sunflower seeds to the hat
The magic hat gobbled up our seed offering but didn’t grant our wish.
Vinnie asks everyone to brainstorm ideas for fixing the hat.
Someone suggested we turn the hat over and examine its
inner workings
I am just about ready to give it a quick flip.
Vinnie subjects the hat to a thorough investigation.
He was unable to discover the secrets of hat magic.
On a positive note, Vinnie says the hat makes an excellent lounge chair to watch the ocean waves.
