Mysterious Footprint

 

Spitfire and Merry just sent me these very alarming photos. It is a three toed footprint much bigger than themselves. The creature who left it was so heavy and strong, it made the print in solid stone!!! They found this foot print less than a mile from the Woodpile. Not surprisingly the entire Woodpile is in a panic. (It doesn’t help that the Friday night movie was the classic film Godzilla.) We decided to mount a scientific expedition to discover who left it.

We started at the Greenwood Library. We learned that birds have three forward facing toes and one backward facing toe. This was  the closest thing we could find in the field guide on animal tracks. Our expedition next headed for the local bird sanctuary. We wanted to measure the size of the largest bird we could find.

This white egret showed us her large feet. Measurements proved they were only 1/20 the size of the footprint we found. This was not very reassuring.

We consulted this sea gull who rudely stuck its tongue out at us and told us to get lost.

Another gull couldn’t stop laughing at our questions.

We found this strange creature washed ashore. It wasn’t listed in any of our field guides. This didn’t help our frayed nerves.

A local Piping Plover reassured us it was just a piece of “drift wood” and quite harmless.

Mrs. Tern who was sitting on her nest recommended we consult an owl. They were supposed to be wise.

After several miles of tramping through uncharted territory we finally found the wise owl. He said “Who goes there?” and then laughed. (I Think this is some sorta owl joke.) We introduced ourselves. It turns out he is a big fan of my blog. His answer to our question was rather cryptic – “Go to the library and find a book on dinosaurs.” Our expedition came full circle back to where we started, the library. My readers will be happy to learn the footprint is 65 million years old and poses no threat to the Woodpile.

How to Train your Human Pet

Chippy, Spitfire, and Merry are off on some wildlife tracking adventure. Chippy asked me, Vinnie the P., to fill in for him on the blog. Can you name one characteristic of a well educated and cultured chipmunk? If you listed having a well behaved human pet, give yourself an A+. I have been teaching a master class on “How to Train your Human Pet.” This class takes everything to the next level. In my introductory class “Human Pets 101” my students learn the basics. I teach them various poses, facial expressions and body language that appeal to human’s psychological weaknesses. For example there is the “cute animal” pose and the “poor starving chipmunk” act. Although these basic poses are effective at getting your pet to leave some food for you, they do not demonstrate mastery of control over your human pet.

My master class teaches those advanced skills. Think of it as obedience school for your human pet. (Some chipmunks may not be aware of this but many humans send their young puppy dogs to obedience classes. This makes humans think they are masters of all creatures. It is just a human delusion, we chipmunks are the true masters.) At the end of this class, my students should have a human pet that acts like their personal butler.

At the Woodpile, we share one human pet. This has caused a certain amount of problems. I had to spent a lot of time training this pet to handle multiple tasks and serve dinner at each resident's preferred location. We picked up this pet at the local humane rescue shelter. It has had a few obedience problems. Nothing like a good challenge.

“Aren’t you forgetting something? It is dinnertime. Time to serve the seeds.”

Sparky directs our Woodpile human pet to put his dinner on top of the hay bale. He likes dinner with a view.

Sparky is very pleased with our human pet’s training progress.

Sophia prefers the “Hollow Stump Café”

Competition for a seat at the Hay Bale and Hollow Stump Café can be rather fierce at times. It is not unusual for a customer to lose his seat to another ‘munk. If you want to eat dinner in peace, I recommend having it served on your pet’s shoe. The other ‘munks will think you can have your pet squash them at a moments notice.

I am afraid not all chipmunks have good manners. This fellow is eating seeds from the pet’s hand, how uncivilized. It gives folks the impression we ‘munks are the pets rather than the humans. (For the record this is not one of my students.)

As a faculty member I get to eat at the head table (Mom’s boot). Mom is considered a friend and member of the Woodpile not a pet.

As I mentioned we are still having some obedience issues with the Woodpile pet. For example, the dip bowl water tasted like bath water. It had been sitting out in the hot sun all day. I spoke sternly with the pet, “You expect me to drink bath water. Now go fetch me some ice cold spring water. Don’t let this happen again.” Sometimes you have to take a firm paw with your pet.

Chipmunk in a Fish Bowl

I saw an advertisement looking for participants for a psychological study. They were offering $5000 for a 24 hour study. It sounded like easy money to me. I called 1-800-pet-bowl and signed up. You were given a single task: live in a fish bowl for 24 hours. If you made it the whole way through the experiment you got paid. If you bailed out early you only got a one dollar bill. No problem, I brought my cell phone, snacks, and ipad … hey, what do mean I can’t take them inside with me? I was given a choice: bailout, get my one dollar and stuff back or be a real ‘munk and complete the experiment. Since they put it that way I said “lets get started.” Here are some photos from 24 hours in a fish bowl. I think they are self-explanatory. 24 hours of being disconnected from the world, 24 hours are being alone with myself and my thoughts … and you think I am leading up to some profound spiritual self awakening. Nope, I was daydreaming about what I was going to spend the $5k on. Hmmm, I wonder if I could turn this into a reality TV show? “Munks in a Bowl”. 

  

(Hour 23) Starving ... desperate ... straw tastes like cardboard.

(Hour 24) "I can leave now?!"

Tending the Garden

The North American Critter Horticultural Society has been holding its garden contest for the past 350 years. After many years of hard work and campaigning Sophia has finally qualified as one of the fifty gardens which will be participating in the contest. This is the first time the Woodpile has ever qualified.

I did an interview with Sophia for the Woodpile Times. I arrived at her garden and was surprised I had to go through “security”. The whole place is surrounded by 48 inch high electrified metal fencing. Apparently, it is not unheard of for rival gardeners to hire the groundhog mafia to eat their way through another contestant’s garden. Have you ever seen a groundhog? They are the T-Rex of garden wreckers.

The garden itself is gorgeous. Full of vibrant colors.

Sophia is carefully  selecting which Tasmanian Devil sunflower seeds she is going to plant. They only thrive in hot humid weather and therefore can’t be planted till July. These are so rare, I don’t even have any in my personal collection.

You won’t find a single weed in her main garden. She carefully checks each day.

Every square inch of the garden gets a close inspection

She takes a well earned break in the shade of her flowers.

In a separate maximum security section of the garden she has Guinness sunflower seeds growing.

I personally haven’t had much luck with the Guinness sunflowers. The trick seems to be saying the proper prayers to the God of Beer.

Her rarest flower an orange chipmunkious marigold is safely grown in a hanging pot.

Sophia is big on pollinator friendly species.