Ice Bound

Most of our summer resident birds wisely flew south this past fall. We had a small group of ducks and swans who ignored generations of genetic imprinting and decided to stay. After binge watching various climate change documentaries they reasoned the rise in temperature would make their summer home very warm and cozy during the winter. Since all the other birds and ducks flew south, they would have the place to themselves. December was a bit on the warmer side and their choice looked really smart. As the deep freeze of the new year set in, they watched with growing concern as the pond started to ice over. They went from a mile long pond to roam around to a small open area about 50 feet long by 20 feet wide.

I decided to take a hike down the frozen pond to see how they were making out. They were so happy to have a visitor. What had started out as a fun idea had turned into a lesson about winter survival If you ever find yourself stuck in a similar situation here are some tips.

Sleeping on one leg will keep one of your feet warm. Switch legs periodically. 

(Works well if you only have two legs instead of four.) 

A better idea, is to crawl up on top of the ice and tuck both legs and feet into your feathers.

Loss of wing muscle tone is been another issue. The swans developed a special wing yoga class which they plan on marketing this spring. Here are some of the yoga positions.

This is the "Rolls Royce" position named after the flying goddess hood ornament they use on their cars.

   

The aptly named "spread eagle"

 Cupid took pity on these ice bound castaways. These two mallards just tied the knot.

Whitey has been lamenting all winter long he will never find the love of his life.

Then one morning he woke up to find this beautiful princess swimming around. He wanted to say hello but he didn’t think she would be interested.

Oh, look the princess has stopped to check out her admirer.

 

He finally got the courage to ask her out on a date!

They are so graceful on the dance floor.

What a whirlwind romance, I think he is proposing to her.

Winter Vacation

In winter time humans like to vacation either in the Caribbean or at fancy ski resorts. Out of curiosity I asked my feathered friends where they vacation during the winter. Without hesitation they said The Ritz Audubon. (Have you ever heard of this place? I certainly hadn’t). Lucky for me they were so excited that someone asked, they jumped into a lavish explanation. One of them grabbed their smart phone to show me their vacations photos.

The Ritz Audubon is a five star rated luxury winter resort tucked away in the middle of hundreds of acres of conservation land at Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary (run by Mass. Audubon Society) in Topsfield, MA. The deluxe Queen Perch Suite runs about $500 per night. It comes with every imaginable luxury – heated bird bath spas, feather manicures, etc. However, all my feathered friends wanted to talk about the was the food!

The Michelin Star restaurant is incredible. The human waiters hand feed you (literally). Their seed cellar (sort like a wine cellar) stocks sunflowers seed from across the globe. The imported Godiva sunflower seeds are a favorite. The most popular item on the menu is the peanuts from Georgia. If you prefer to dine in your perch you can order “hand service.” My friends said after a week at the resort, they put on too much weight to fly home. They had to call an Uber.

The Queen Perch Suite – has three perches to accommodate the who family

Nuthatches require vertical perches (rather than horizontal).
They have an entire wing of the resort devoted to them.

 The heated spa with mineral spring water

So many choices!

 

 

Georgia peanuts the resort specialty

 

Godiva sunflower seeds – I am so jealous!

Tracking Lesson

The kids have been doing remote classes all year. In order to break up the monotony their science teacher assigned some outdoor homework. They had to find and identify critter tracks in the snow. It sounded like a lot of fun so I joined the kids and brought along the camera. We traveled all around the Woodpile and down to the pond. I was surprised by just how many tracks there were. I had never really paid much attention before.

We found hundreds of birds tracks – Juncos, sparrow, blue jays and many more.

The kids spotted Bushy the squirrel’s tracks as he raced around the Woodpile trying to remember where he buried all his acorns. 

 

Everyone was excited when we found tracks from the Easter Bunny who was scouting out the best routes for delivering baskets of goodies in advance.

We got really nervous when we found fox tracks leading right up to Mom’s porch. Mom came out and said she was okay, the fox wanted directions to Florida, he was tired of the freezing cold weather.

Then we almost fell into these gigantic tracks. We couldn’t find them in our field guide to animal tracks. Chippy Jr. dug out of his backpack his trusty guide to dinosaurs. According to the book it was a Velociraptor. All this time I thought the Jurassic Park movies were science fiction. I didn’t realize they were documentary films!

With great trepidation we started to follow the tracks. A short time later we ran into the science teacher. She was so excited about the tracks and started an impromptu lesson on the life history of wild turkeys.  We listened intently, smiled, and never mentioned we thought they were dinosaur tracks. At least I can sleep tonight.

On the way back to the burrow for a well earned cup of homemade hot chocolate with marshmallow fluff, we discovered these really fresh tracks. 

 

Each one of these tracks was over two feet long! This was no turkey. Before, I could stop the kids they scurried along to see where the tracks went to.

The next thing I know they come flying back at warp speed. As they flew by they yelled, “It 's an abominable snowman, run for your lives!”

Taj Mahal

Have I ever told you about my trip to the Taj Mahal? I know what your thinking, how could I afford such a trip on my salary while supporting a family? You’re right I can’t, neither could the movie company. The movie production company originally planned on filming on a back lot in Hollywood, but we convinced them we could build them a much better set for less money. They accepted our offer.

We Woodpilers like to collect the most unusual, odd and exotic odds and ends. (We are natural born hoarders, its in our genes.) We dug into our vast subterranean warehouse. An old Christmas cookie tin and giant outdoor Christmas bulb suddenly became the Taj Mahal. A leaky tea pot that never whistled became a magic lamp. By now, you have probably googled the Taj and are shaking your head, no way could our set look the like the real thing. You would once again be correct. The tin can that serves as part of the building has gingerbread men and candy canes printed on it. The movie producers absolutely loved it. It is fit perfectly with their “Late Night Show” style humor.

When we signed the contract no one read the 53 pages of fine print. Turns out, we also agreed to supply the special effects for the movie. The script called for a magic carpet which flies. Lucky for us, when we were building the set, we found a light weight  bamboo carpet. The set crew had a hard time with it because it literary kept trying to “fly away” in the breeze. We had to hold it down with a couple logs from the woodpile. What started off as an annoying problem turned into our saving grace. We installed a couple industrial fans on set and poof we had instant low budget special effects magic flying carpet.

Moving the Christmas bulb onto the top of the cookie tin was a Herculean task.

Hey we have problem, this thing is leaning to one side and sliding off the log

Okay, I will push it back into the right place.

 

 

Lets use these sunflower shells to level it.

 

After all that work, the movie director (sitting on the log to the right) loved our Taj but said we needed to move it three inches to the left to take better advantage of the natural lighting. 

 The magic carpet kept fly away. We tried to weigh it down first with sunflower seeds but then carpet and our seeds started to take off!

 I quickly jumped on top of it to keep on the ground …

… but that didn’t work either and I started to become airborne!

My cousin Vinnie held it down and prevented me from being whisked away to the Land of Oz. 

We rolled two logs on the carpet to keep it in place. Then I started adding the props like the snake charmer basket. I heard something ... is there a live snake inside of this???? I heard the old phrase “curiosity killed the cat.” I not going to look inside, no way.

Look a magic lamp, I'm going to rub it. What could possibly go wrong?

 

That never happens in the fairy tales. The lamp just vanished when I rubbed it. What a disappointment. I wish I knew where that “lamp” disappeared to?

POOF! Yikes! There are swirling colors all around me. Wait a second, it is beginning to clear, incredible I can see the real Taj Mahal in the distance.

So, that is how I took a trip to see the Taj Mahal.