Mystery Solved

The entire Woodpile population is off at a week long exotic seeds and nuts tasting conference. The Woodpile’s caretakers, us humans, have had a well deserved break from catering to the Woodpilers whims and fancies. They can be a rather demanding group of furballs, although they would never admit it.

We have been trying to solve a bit of mystery all spring and early summer. Dozens of clusters of sunflowers popped up everywhere – lawn, garden, flower beds, etc. According to the traditional explanation, chipmunks store all of their seeds in their burrows (called larder hoarding). We had initially ruled them out as possible culprits. The local squirrels eat the sunflower seeds before they even think about the idea of burying them. The same goes for the other critters who frequent our yards. We were beginning to give credence to the idea we had aliens secretly hiding their hoards at night. (Okay, we were getting desperate for an explanation.)

Recently, we saw a chipmunk with fully loaded cheek pouches digging in the lawn when she thought no one else was looking. Within a minute she dug a small hole, off loaded her seeds into it and then buried it. This behavior is known as “scatter hoarding.” We did a bit of researcher and found out this has been documented in some obscure scientific studies. These scattered caches of seeds are a backup plan in case something happens to their main supply in their burrows.

 

Mysterious clusters of sunflower popped everywhere in our yards.

 

The Woodpile Becomes "Upscale"

We had a parcel of land overgrown with weeds which the owner spent years trying to sell. No one was interested in it. It wasn’t even good for planting sunflowers. About a week ago, an enterprising burrow developer bought the lot for cheap money. It was the talk of the Woodpile. There was much speculation about what the developer planned on doing. A betting pool started as to when the project would go bankrupt.

Construction crews quickly moved in, and weeds were ripped out. Tunnel crews started excavating burrows at a furious rate. Soon a model burrow was open and a line of  potential buyers was waiting to get a glimpse. We decided to go see what was attracting such a big crowd. According to the sales brochure, the “Four Paws” estate was an exclusive luxury condo burrow development in an upscale neighborhood. Perfect for the executive ‘munk. If that sounds crazy, it gets better. The developer was also building a chipmunk exclusive seed mart. The brochure promoted how one would not have to compete at the regular seed mart with squirrels, raccoons, and other big critters. The new market will carry all sorts of imported seeds. Us longtime Woodpilers all thought this would be a nice improvement. We couldn’t wait for the market to open.

Construction crews had to clear a jungle of weeds from the lot. 

Large downed tree branches needed to be removed.

The dirt flew as tunnel crews worked to create burrows.

An enormous pile of dirt grew outside of the burrow entrance as the crews dug rooms for media entertainment, indoor pool, walk-in closets, etc. Surprisingly, they only built tiny storerooms for seeds. The first nor’easter snow storm of the winter season in which they are snowed in for a week or more will be … well very educational.

Before this condo burrow was even completed, it was sold to a stock broker who made a fortune on the seed futures market.

 Us Woodpilers were expecting a fancy new store. Instead the developer had a Hood milk crate delivered. We were all scratching our tails in confusion. The stock broker guy stopped by and could not stop raving about the store’s architecture. Apparently distressed and recycled are the “in” thing in building styles at the moment. (For us it looked like the developer was trying to save a buck!)

The good news - the entrances were only big enough for a chipmunk to squeeze through. No more competing with the bigger critters. The bad news – the prices were outrageous. $5 for one seed!!!

 

The Cage

The sunflower farming experiments in last week’s post was interrupted by a brazen daylight seed robbery by Crooked Tail, better known as the “Seed Bandit.” The Woodpile Constable was in hot pursuit. We had one of those high speed chases like you see in those old Hollywood films. The dirt was flying as Crooked Tail desperately tried to elude the Constable. The Bandit’s mistake was trying to hold onto his stolen loot in his cheek pouches. It weighed him down considerably. After about fifteen minutes he collapsed with exhaustion. Looking up, he asked the constable why he had even broken a sweat yet? Constable chuckled and told him he was training for a Chipmunk Triathlon (Running 1 mile while transporting 75 seeds , digging 50 feet of  tunnel, and climbing a 200 foot tall tree).

We don’t get much crime at the Woodpile. We have a circuit judge who holds court every three months. Most of the time the judge has to deal with bartenders trying to collect unpaid bar tabs, border disputes in the community garden, and ‘munks trying to get out of their tickets for driving with overloaded cheek pouches. Lucky for Crooked Tail, the court was in session the next day so he did not have to wait in jail for three months. Crooked Tail decided to represent himself and told the judge quite a sob story about his terrible childhood which led him to a life of crime. What a tale it was, there wasn’t a dry eye in the court room. The judge was about to release him if he promised to mend his ways …. But suddenly the court room doors slammed opened and the judge’s wife ran in. Out of breath, she pointed to her smart phone. The bailiff hooked it up to the TV screen and everyone watched security camera footage of his wife’s prize heirloom sunflower seeds which she had just planted being stolen by the Seed Bandit.

One look from his wife, and the judge sentenced Crooked Tail to 30 days in jail and to be fed rabbit food the whole time. No ‘munk had been sentenced to eat rabbit food in over three hundred years!

The Constable has a holding cell at the Police Burrow which is mostly used to let citizens sleep off their hangovers but we don’t have a jail, never really had a need for one.  The County Jail was full after they broke up a large seed smuggling ring. The Woodpile had to improvise a bit. We borrowed a live trap from one of our human neighbors and stuffed full of choice rabbit delicacies like carrots, lettuce, and cauliflower.

Crooked Tail was not a happy ‘munk. He was expecting a nice burrow jail cell with the usual amenities, three square meals of seeds per day, cable TV, exercise yard, and fellow inmates to learn new tricks of the criminal trade from.

The Constable had some trouble figuring out how to close the door to the ‘jail.”

He finally found the release mechanism but didn't realize he was standing on the door as he hit it!

 

After staring at the rabbit food for a half hour, Crooked Tail demanded to see the judge, he wanted to make a deal. In exchange for getting probation, he would testify against the head of the mafia seed syndicate. Critter law enforcement had been after this mysterious mafia boss for years. This sounded like a great deal.

“Stripes” the mafia boss got a ten year sentence. After 12 hours, the jail smelled so bad the prison guards all quit! At the 24 hour mark the Woodpile had to be evacuated due to the “aroma.” Suffice to say, Stripes only served one day in prison before being released.

  

Crooked Tail looked on with mischievous amusement.

 

Sunflower Gardening Experiments

The Woodpile received a large grant from the U.S. Department of Critter Agriculture to study innovative ways to protect the sunflower harvest against climate change and loss of farm land to urbanization. We set three goals (1) find ways to grow sunflowers in urban environments, (2) improve sunflower yields per plant (3) reduce the amount time needed for sunflower gardening so critters working 9-5 jobs could grow their own.

Normally, these studies are done with rigorous scientific procedures. Test plots are set up on a farm, each plot has one condition changed (water, fertilizer, etc) to see how it affects the plants. We thought this was an unrealistic approach because it didn’t reflect real world conditions. We put out a call to all critters to try their best ideas no matter how crazy they seemed. A bit of friendly competition can work wonders. You could plant your test sunflowers in the most unusual places you could find. Even Mom (our human caretaker) wanted in on the action. We said yes of course. (What could humans possibly know about growing sunflowers?)

 

 

Have you ever considered how much wasted space there is in the human built environment? Take for example the cracks between the boards on Mom’s porch.

All you have to do is add a bit of soil, plant your seeds, and water. Presto – you got yourself a sunflower garden. The advantage of this approach is there is no weeding involved!

What is wrong with this picture? The seeds were planted a week ago and some have already sprouted. Why would anyone be planting more seeds? I recall seeing the odd looking tail before  ... This is not a gardener, it is “Crooked Tail” the seed bandit digging up the planted seeds!

 

The Woodpile Constable is in hot pursuit

 

Look at all the wasted space in this suburban flower bed! Susan decided to try two different experiments. In this spot she planted a single seed

Another spot, she planted ten seeds in the same hole. Look at them grow!

The experiments in the veggie garden had mixed results. This very aggressive lettuce plant refused to share the sun with the sunflowers. (Yes, as you have long suspected plants do have personalities!)

My prize sunflower which gets a six-pack of Guinness beer each week is doing amazing. I showed it to the head agriculturist running the experiments. She was duly  impressed until she asked to see my account book and found out how much I was spending on it.

 

 I also planted a sunflower in Mom’s rustic stone steps and explained to her how I wanted to improved the natural look. She didn’t buy into my argument and I had to transplant it. Something about it being a tripping hazard.

Smutty Nose got her nickname from her black nose, the result of eating chocolate sundaes for breakfast everyday. She has a nice herb garden going. She noticed at the bottom of the herb garden wall some accumulated sand (left over from sanding the icy driveway.)

 

 She has been diligently tending a sunflower in this most unlikely spot.

She also planted a chive plant that is thriving, just to the right of the sunflower.

The head agriculturist invited all the experimenters to go on a field trip. We arrived at this well tended garden plot. Clearly a very industrious critter gardener at work.

Wow, look at how well these sunflowers are doing. This critter gardener has found a successful formula for efficient growing at almost no out of pocket expenses. Just what we were looking for with these experiments. What do you mean this isn’t a critter garden??? Oh, I see its Mom’s garden plot. And she will be teaching a class on how to grow sunflowers. Life is full of unexpected surprises.

 

Georges Island Adventure

As I mentioned in last week’s post, the Lady of the Greenway gave me a ferry ticket to Georges Island in Boston Harbor. First order of business was to find the ferry. How hard could it be? I walked down to the wharf only to find a maze of docks, eight different ferry boats docked, long lines of people waiting to get on. I tried to ask for directions but people just looked around looking for another human and never looked down to me. Not finding the source of the voice asking for directions, they went along their merry way. I changed tactics and looked for some fellow critters to ask for directions.

I found this goose. I politely asked for directions but he demanded a five dollar fee. A modern day pirate! I wonder where he keeps his peg leg?

This place looked a bit friendlier. The Waterboat Duck House is a B&B for waterfowl. They kindly gave me directions, apparently I needed to go to the next wharf. They warned me to beware of the Godzilla. The what? They said you will know when you see it.

Walking at a brisk pace along the dock, I heard this vroom, vroom behind me. I ignored it but it kept getting closer and closer. I finally turned and was face to face with the Godzilla. The thing was about ready to eat me for a snack. I ran for my life.

I stopped to catch my breath. I carefully looked around to see if I had been followed. I was relieved to find I was safe. I noticed a fascinating contrast between the “haves” and the “have nots”.

This owner clearly has a love of the sea but not the cash even for a bit of paint.

Definitely a fixer-upper.

This owner has dump truck loads of cash. I would probably have to win the lottery three times in a row just to pay for this yacht called the “Gallant Lady.” I wonder if I could sneak aboard?

I heard that apartment rents in the city are steep. This creative person has a small house boat  called “Birch Marina” complete with A/C, one window and WIFI.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally found the ferry and got on just in the nick of time. They had already raised the gang plank, so they lowered a rope down to the dock and I climbed aboard.

We got underway and this old fashion schooner challenged us to a race to the buoy by the airport.

As we cruised along this Jetblue plane came diving upon us like a hawk after a chipmunk. I instinctively ducked for cover. I peeked out and saw the other passengers didn’t seem concerned. The plane glided overhead and landed on the runway.

The harbor was a busy place. Boats were constantly coming and going. This barge and crane were dredging the channel.

After a 45 minute trip, we approached Georges Island. The island is along the main channel into the harbor and therefore a strategic location for a fort. Between 1833 and 1851, the U.S. Congress appropriated money for the construction of a gigantic stone fort. When the Civil War broke out in 1860, someone finally realized they had forgotten to budget for the cannons. Just a minor oversight. Since the fort was on an island, some bureaucrat decided it would make the perfect prison. For the duration of the Civil War, it was a prisoner of war prison. Lucky for Boston, the confederacy never attacked the harbor.

With the exception of the main entrance into the fort, the openings into the fort were these narrow seven inch wide gun ports. The human architects reasoned that the slots were too narrow for a person to get through. However, an invading critter army of chipmunks, squirrels, raccoons, etc could have easily captured this place. I think that would be a great idea for a Hollywood film.

I was just kidding about an invading critter army but the military brass apparently took the threat seriously. They started but never finished installing shutters over the gun ports.

First place in the fort I wanted to check out was the bakery. Imagine baking loaves of bread for hundreds and hundreds of people everyday? That would require a lot of sunflower seed flour. The bakery looked like an industrial factory.

I knew my young nephews would want some photos of cannons. I climbed to the ramparts to look for them. I found mounts for them but no cannons.

I looked around the parade ground and couldn’t find any there.

I ran into the caretaker for the fort, a banded grove snail. It takes her a entire year to circumnavigate the fort checking on everything. What dedication. She told me there were only two cannons left in the fort and where to find them.

Success at last!