Agility Training

The Critter Olympic summer games  is coming up in 2023. It is held on odd years to avoid competing with the human Olympic media coverage. The critter Olympics has the usual track and field events. There are some events unique to us. One of them is the agility climb. This involves navigating along narrow branches without falling off while at the same time coming up with the fastest time. Sounds easy until you try it. The Woodpile was selected as the official training camp for the U.S. Agility Climb Team. I was invited by the team to do a feature story about the facility for the blog. I would have special inside access to the team. (I should have asked more questions as what they meant by that.)

I arrived bright and early in the morning. They start training at 5am sharp. A thoughtful assistant coach offered to carry my camera and other gear. They let me try on the special climbing pads they wear on their paws. Wow, this was exciting. The next thing I know the coach was ushering us outside onto the training course. They decided to treat me as a member of the team. I spent a grueling day of training while the assistant coach took lots of pictures of my less than spectacular efforts on the course.

 

An overall view of the course

 

 
I am doing what? I'm going to train with the team for the day?

Seriously how hard could this be. I made it a whole two body’s length before slipping off. Did I mention they strip off all of the bark and sand the wood smooth. Even with claws this course is impossible.

The real trick to this course is developing your sense of balance
while at the same time being fast and agile.

And avoiding distractions like the aroma coming from the coach’s cup of coffee.

At noontime, I inquired about a lunch break. The coach glued a bunched of sunflower seeds to the course and said “lunch is served, come and get it.” I was the first to reach the sunflowers seeds but got “disqualified” for going the wrong direction on the course. I had to start all over again.

By the time I got there, only one seed was left.

Training was an endless cycle of run along the course, fall off, and repeat.

Once I tried to hop back on when the coach wasn’t look but his excellent sense of hearing betrayed me. He heard the distinct thud of me falling on my head.

“Hey coach, isn’t it about time we called it a day and got a beer?” Well, that got me an extra hour of training time. Never argue with the coach.

 
Especially when the coach is 10X bigger than you. 

After 8 hours of training, I was finally on the verge of completing the whole course.

Then disaster struck, but, the coach encourage me not to give up.

With Herculean effort I managed to climb back on top.

I did it! I reached the end of the course!!!

Now, how do I get down?

Sail Portsmouth 2022

I went looking for my friend Merry this morning. You remember Merry, the carved wooden chipmunk. I had this fascinating dream last night in which I dreamed up a scheme to win the lottery. I want to run the idea past Merry. I checked Merry’s favorite donut shop, he wasn’t there. I checked the park where he likes to feed the squirrels. Yah, I know, what a strange habit for a chipmunk to have. None of the squirrels had seen him. I dropped by his burrow. His kitchen table was covered with newspaper clippings for “Sail Portsmouth 2022.” Well that explained a lot. Merry is interested or more correctly obsessed with all thing wooden. Three replica tall wooden ships were arriving in Portsmouth, NH.

One of the ships has carved creatures on it. Most folks think of these merely as decorations. According to Merry, they are living breathing creatures like himself. He doesn’t get a chance to talk with his own kind very often. I was just a bit concerned he might not come back to the Woodpile. These sailing vessels are all always recruiting volunteer help.

I arrived to find a large crowd watching the parade of sail. This is the Lynx. A replica of a War of 1812 privateer complete with cannons.

The Spirit of Bermuda was the British response to the American privateers. They seem to have forgotten their cannons!

 This one is a bit older. It is a replica of a 1638 Swedish ship that took colonist to Delaware to establish a trading post for furs. (It gives me the shivers to think of people hunting us critters for our furs.)

 I couldn’t find Merry in the crowd. Then it dawned on me, he is probably waiting at the dock. 

I needed to sneak past the pirate guarding the dock. I distracted him by rolling a bottle a rum down the dock.

I started my search with the Spirit of Bermuda.

 I couldn’t find him.

From the stern of Bermuda I noticed all the carvings on the Kalmar Nyckel. I was on the wrong ship!

 

 

Oh boy, with this many carved creatures,
I am never going to convince Merry to come back to the Woodpile. 

 I wonder if they will let me shoot of one of the cannons?

I heard a familiar voice telling stories of adventure.

I finally found Merry

 

Merry was very tempted to join the crew. The lure of adventure on the high seas was calling. But, then he discovered the ship doesn’t stock sunflower seeds. Apparently the chef is allergic. Merry said his good-byes to his new wooden friends and we headed back to the Woodpile for Sunflower Ale and fried sunflower seeds.

Practical Jokes

Some mischievous chipmunk anonymously posted a challenge on CritterBook, the popular social media service. The challenge was quite simple, post a photo of yourself sneaking up and scaring the heck out of some other critter. Like most social media things, the challenge got a bit out of hand at the Woodpile.

I like to take my lunch break at the “stump.” It has the best views in the Woodpile. It is, correction, it was, a peaceful place to relax. Now, I eat a seed and looked around for pranksters.

Every little sound out of the ordinary makes you jump.

Well, it all started off as a bit of fun. I posted this photo of myself sneaking up on my friend Bushy. (You can just make out my face behind his head.) I scared him so badly he jumped three feet into the air.

After Bushy recovered from his shock, he patiently watched for an opportunity to repay the favor.

 

 

I heard a sound but Bushy ducked behind a log. Not seeing anything I went back to what I was doing. Big mistake. 

 

Bushy was laser focused and very patient, and waited for just the right moment for maximum affect.

Bushy posted this photo of myself climbing up the stump after being scared out of my wits.
Not my best moment, I must admit.

While Bushy was celebrating his success, a crow silently landed on the stump
and prepared to grab his tail.