Monday, August 27, 2018

Woodpile's Newest Resident



We have a new resident at the Woodpile, named Red Baron. He recently retired from a distinguished career with the circus as a high flying acrobat. “Red Baron” is his circus name, and no one seems to remember his real name, not even himself!

When he first arrived at the Woodpile, Red Baron dropped by the Blackbird Tavern for a cold drink. He overheard the regulars talking about the impossible to raid feeder. It hangs off a long rope on a very thin branches and it swings all over the place.  No one but the birds can get at it. The birds have been teasing us furry critters about how they have it all to themselves. They have the nerve to sit in the feeder and drop empty sunflower shells on our heads!

This has been so humiliating to the furry critter community. We organized a boycott of all bird owned businesses at the Woodpile. That lasted all of one day. It never dawned on us the only watering hole at the Woodpile was the Blackbird (bird owned) Tavern. I am afraid beer won out.

Red Baron introduced himself to the regulars. He boosted he could wipe the smirk off those bird’s faces. He said if he failed, we would buy the house a round of beers every night for a month. If he was successful we would pay for all his drinks for a year. The fellows thought this was an easy bet to win and would be entertaining at the same time. (For the record, this was before we knew about his career in the circus). He told us to meet at the infamous bird feeder at 6am sharp the next morning and to bring a camera to record the event.

What can I say, the photos tell the story all by themselves.








Sunday, August 19, 2018

Uninvited Guest





Mrs. Spot was telling this interesting story. I thought I would share it with everyone:

“The other day I was minding my own business when this irresistible smell drifted over the Woodpile into my burrow. It was even more alluring than the smell of sunflower seeds. What could it be? With my nose high in the air, I head in the direction the smell came from. Out of my burrow I ran, through the Woodpile, and across the yard till I came Mom’s screen door. The source of this mysterious smell was behind this seemly impenetrable barrier. Not a problem, I know a secret passageway into house big enough only for chipmunks. (Chippy doesn’t even know about.) I emerged out of the passageway onto the porch where the smell was overwhelming. It was coming from someplace over my head. I looked up and saw a small table which I scurried up. What did I discover? Corn on the cob! The cobs are too big for us chipmunks haul back to the Woodpile, so, we need some “human intervention.” I sorta … kinda … invited myself to dinner.

Mom came out the kitchen and was none to happy to find an uninvited guest eating her dinner



 Hmmm good!


Sunday, August 12, 2018

Enjoying a Drink



 A guy gets mighty thirsty after all that adventure. Here I am enjoying an ice cold Coca-Cola.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Jurassic Beach



My good friend Bushy the Squirrel bought me a ticket to “Jurassic Beach” for my birthday. Here is the brochure (below)
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Are you bored with hiding from inept house cats, narrow escapes from the grasp of hawk talons, and dodging car tires? Need a new challenge in life? Jurassic Beach is an adventure theme park reserved only for the toughest, strongest, and bravest outdoor critters. You will travel in luxury aboard a Godzilla speed boat to a remote tropical island paradise. You will spend a week on a beautiful beach where you will face unspeakable and scary challenges. Just bring yourself and your sharpened claws, you will need them. We’ll supply the rest. Your adventure is video-taped by our professional videographers so that your family has something to remember you by.

Our slogan is “No participant has ever survived to tell the tale!”
* Admission price includes only a one way ticket to the island. Return ticket sold separately (if you survive).

Legal fine print: All guests agree not to sue or hold liable Jurassic Beach Inc. for any injuries, lost limbs, or your funeral expenses.
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This is perfect. I can’t wait to go!


Hey, the brochure never mentioned anything about living, breathing, killer lobsters. (Apparently management has told these crustaceans that mammals are bent on world domination.)

 

 Watch out, the giant crab was waiting to steal the lobster’s meal.



Whoa, that was a narrow escape!



 Maybe I can hide underneath this old shell.


 Help, I am being eaten by a horseshoe crab. (Do I have time to make out my Will? Who should I leave my collection of vintage sunflower seeds to?)


 Yuck! The only thing to eat on this tropical “paradise” is seaweed.


(Producer) Chippy, do have time to take a collect call from Bushy? We have been broadcasting your adventure live at the Woodpile. (Chippy grabs the phone) Hello? (Bushy) How are you enjoying your adventure trip? I thought after that April Fool’s stew pot joke you pulled on me, that I would return the favor.


Chippy becomes the first critter to ever survive Jurassic Beach.