Chippy's Stadium

The premiere sporting event of the critter world is the “Wood Bowl.” It takes place the first weekend after New Years. It seems CNN (critter news network) won’t cover the event if it is held on New Years Day. They are too busy with live broadcasts of the Rose Bowl parade and football game. The Wood Bowl changes locations every year. Like the Olympics various critter populations vie for the right to host it.

The Mayor of the Woodpile after a few too many drinks at the Blackbird tavern, filled out an application online to host the event. He boasted about our state-of-art modern stadium and warm temperatures … the Woodpile got selected to host. The reality is we don’t have a stadium, it freezing outside, and oh yah we got snow! An emergency session of the city council was called. The council was about ready to decline the hosting job but I suggested we buy some industrial heaters from Home Depot and use wood from the Woodpile to build a stadium. They voted to make me foreman of the new stadium construction project and also voted to name the stadium after me. (Translation, they didn’t have any funds to pay me.) Hey, how many people have a stadium named after them?

First order of business was make sure my name was prominently displayed. I started with the letter “C”. I didn’t realize how heavy these logs are to roll into place.

This is our local building inspector. She is checking to make sure the logs are stable and won’t roll over someone.

What do you mean? It looks perfectly safe to me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how to dot the “I” in my name. My first thought was use the dip bowl. That was a big mistake. My fellow Woodpilers protested saying it was a public watering bowl, so, I had to put it back.

While I was sulking about not being able to use the dip bowl, Mrs. Spot quietly pushed a pumpkin into place. Great idea!

The building inspector declared the stem to be a hazard to bird navigation. We had to chew it off.

Now that the “I” was finished, the next job was the “P”

I decided to stash some sunflower seeds for tailgating. I wonder what the origins of “tail” gating is?

Mrs. Spot helped me position the “Y”. I had this piece of wood custom made for the project.

My buddy Bushy was suppose to help out but he overslept. He was all apologies.

The chairwoman of the North American Wood Bowl committee dropped by for a surprise inspection. Her only question was where was the stadium?

I spent so much time getting my name just right, I sort of forgot about the stadium part.

I am afraid in order to fit the stadium in, I had to get rid of the dot on the “I”.

Photo Shoot With Santa

I got a call from the North Pole public relations office. Santa’s press secretary was concerned about the latest numbers. They were receiving a record number of letters from concerned critter parents about their children being naughty. They were seeking advice on what to do. A check of the critter naughty list showed there were more naughty kids than nice! Yes, they checked it twice to make sure. The latest polls show an alarming drop in the number of critter kids that believe in Santa! Further investigation revealed one kid didn’t get the toy he wanted last year from Santa (he was on the really naughty list), so he started spreading rumors on social media that Santa was fake.

Santa is a bit old fashion, he still uses a rotary dial phone (yikes!), and still thinks twitter is some sort of bird. His press office needed social media help big time. They think a photo shoot with a world famous critter blogger will help Santa’s image. Santa arrived at the Woodpile today. He was dressed in his finest outfit, very classy.

Hold on, I am not ready. I still have to comb my fur!

Where did I put my tail fur spray?

(Photographer) “Chippy we are on a tight schedule. Hurry up!”

 

 Santa “Great job Chippy. Come give me a hug!”

Christmas Card Mailing

The holiday season is upon us. We critters just love to celebrate them. However, we have never gotten caught up in the mass consumerism. I am not persuaded by the fancy advertisements to part with my hard earned sunflower seeds. Call me old fashion, but I like the traditional aspects like sending out greeting cards. Have you noticed that the greeting card section in stores has shrunken by 70% over the past few years? I went to a half dozen stores and couldn’t find any critter appropriate cards. Hey Hallmark your missing a huge untapped market here!

My buddy Merry suggested I make my own cards. What a great idea. What should I put on the front of the card? What would my family, friends and fans enjoy? I got it, a photo of me with Santa and his sled. Perfect!

What do you think? Isn’t that the best holiday card you have ever seen? This is destined to be become a collectors item and it is signed by yours truly.

Hi folks, its me Merry. I dropped by Chippy’s to cheer him on in his efforts.

Chippy didn’t realize how much work it was sending out hundreds of cards. (The down side of being famous.) He fell asleep on the “job.” I am going to tuck him into bed.

I had to get another pen, the first one ran out of ink. I decided to help write out addresses. At the rate Chippy was going he was never going to get all the cards out in time for the holidays.

Well, I am glad to see you’re awake after your nap. We have run out of working pens. All I could find was a bottle of ink. So, we have use your tail as an old fashion quill pen to finish these.

Are we done yet?

Thanks pal, I couldn’t have done this without you.

This is what the holidays are truly about: Friends and family.

 

“Merry Christmas” from all of us at the Woodpile.

Video of Chippy working on his cards

 

Frolicking at the Woodpile on a Winter's Day

For human kids, 12:01 am Christmas Day is the big moment to jump out of bed and see what presents are under the tree. Here at the Woodpile, 12:01 am the day after Thanksgiving is when the little ‘munks all go stir crazy. This begins the official countdown to Christmas and the first day the U.S. Post office begins to accept letters to Santa. They were all up at the crack of dawn writing their letters to Santa. The Post Office had to open early just to accommodate them. Having completed this all important task and having way too much energy, we parents kicked them out of the burrows and told them to play around the Woodpile. This is the only time we could get a few hours of sleep. It was a gorgeous fall day and before the first nor’easter of season dumped a foot of snow.

Instead of chatting on social media with their cell phones, they setup an impromptu photo shoot. They pretended they were at a prestigious show for chipmunks. They were strutting their stuff and competing to be the cutest of them all. I’ll let the readers decide who won “Best in Show.”

This little lady appears to be preparing for “The Voice” TV show. She is practicing her chirping with a bird voice coach.

Hunting Safety

Some up and coming New York fashion designer thinks the next big trend in accessories will be old fashion mink fur stoles. The hunters are out in force trying to cash in. The problem is they don’t know a mink from a chipmunk. Seriously, how many chipmunk furs would you need to make a fur stole? Like a gazillion.  Did I mention that these cash crazed humans are hunting with shotguns and bird shot. I think you get the picture, there won’t be anything left after taking a direct hit. What would you do without the weekly adventures of your favorite chipmunk? Read about the adventures of your pet rock?

We chipmunks are in good shape, we can hide in our “underground bunkers” during the bombardment. My friend Bushy the squirrel is having a tougher time. He flattens himself against the tree trunk and tries to blend in. However, we can’t spend all day in our burrows. We still need to harvest the fall seed crops. Mom suggested we get orange vests. Hunters are indoctrinated with the rule that you don’t shoot at anything with an orange vest or hat. Since the Woodpile itself is being used for target practice, we opted to get it a vest it as well. All the shotgun shells littering the area attests to the need for these extreme safety precautions.

Here I am installing an orange on the Woodpile

These shotgun shells are almost as big as me. Yikes!

One of the Woodpile’s residents checks to see if it is safe to come out.

I tried on a hunter’s ball cap but it was way to big. It was completely impractical.

I had to come up with a different solution.

Allow me to present the custom made chipmunk orange safety vest!

The Mayor dropped by and wanted know how it worked.

“Are you sure this is safe Chippy?”

“Here goes nothing”

“Wow, it fits and it is functional!"

UPDATE

Fifteen minutes after this blog entry was posted, it went viral. The safety vest company sold out of its inventory of 5,000 chipmunk vests in minutes. I just got a call from the Fashionable Critter magazine looking for an interview about the latest fashion craze - orange safety vests!

Decorating for Thanksgiving

Yikes, Thanksgiving is almost here. I mean it is only four days away. We haven’t decorated the Woodpile yet. I got my bull horn out and made an announcement and asked for volunteers. The volunteers literary came out of the woodwork.

Bushy was the first to volunteer.

My cousin Vinnie showed up to help out

I even had a baby rat volunteer! (They are adorable at this age.)

First task was to get some corn stalks. These things are huge. I was dwarfed by them in this photo. It took all the volunteers to move them.

Chippy Jr. thought it was fun to play hide and seek with his friends in the cornstalks.

This young fellow is just about to try to find his friends hiding.

Here are the cornstalks decorating the Woodpile.

We need something more, maybe something a bit more colorful. Let me think about this a moment.

I know what we need a pumpkin! Phew, I never realized how heavy they are. I think this will make a perfect snack tray. I will put some sunflowers seeds on it now so I don’t have to do it on Thanksgiving day.

May be it wasn’t such a good idea to put the snacks out so early.

The kids found them in less than thirty seconds!

I can't bring myself to reprimand Junior for his bad manners.

I don't like to admit it but I acted the same way at that age. He's just a chip off the old block.

How did our parents ever put up with us as kids?