Saturday, April 6, 2019

Golfing


Now that spring has arrived, it is time to get back on the links for eighteen holes. Yes, I am talking about golf. Golf is a new sport for chipmunks in America. No commercial courses exist yet, so, we made our own here at the Woodpile. The fun part is digging the cups out – we are experts at this. We occasionally added a few to the human golf courses. The course did cause a few problems.  The mail-munk tried delivering  to a bunch of them thinking they were new burrows. We found them stuffed with junk mail advertisements. After about a week we finally clued him in.



Golf was actually invented by Scottish chipmunks in the fifteenth century but you won’t find that mentioned on Wikipedia. Humans keep deleting that fact every time we add it to the entry. The only place to buy chipmunk size clubs is from Scotland. Unfortunately with all the tariffs and trade wars, Scottish ‘munks are refusing to export them to the U.S. We had to get inventive. We found our tails make excellent drivers. Front and rear paws replace the “irons”, and the nose is a superb putter.

Finding golf balls isn’t a problem. Some important two legged politician with lots of secret service was playing at the country club across the lake last week. The first ten balls he hit off the tee landed in the Woodpile. (The Woodpile is 350 yards in the opposite direction of the green!) I am sure all you taxpayers are cringing about paying for all those lost balls. Not to worry, they weren’t the best quality balls. In fact they were the “made in China” ones you buy at the dollar store. You get ten for a buck.

As for the course itself, all of the current club members dislike mowing the lawn, so, we didn’t bother planting any grass. As you can imagine, chipmunk greens are measured in inches rather than yards. Last year, we had the traditional, flat course but found it wasn’t challenging enough. So we put some holes in the “hazards” like the Woodpile. Try “reading the greens” when you're putting over a bunch of uneven logs. Now that takes some real skill.

Making the Putt

Different members have different approaches to putting. Allow me to demonstrate with a few photos:


Sparky likes to get his nose to the wood for a  careful read.


Vinnie is busy calculating the speed, friction, angular momentum, etc 
using the laws of physics.


I personally preferred to just the “eyeball” the shot.
 
 

Chippy Jr., well he just likes to get in way of the shot 
and made a nuisance of himself like most teenagers.

Hazards

 
You thought sand bunkers were tough. Try getting your ball when 
it is wedged between two pieces of wood. "Can I get my paw underneath it?"


Only 6 inches to the hole but that fallen branch is in the way (upper left).

Fairway


Here is a nicely hit ball that landed in the middle of fairway. Not too many leaves around.


Vinnie is calculating the angle needed to get to the hole three feet up on the Woodpile.

Embarrassing

 

We caught Sparky napping on the 15th hole. This photo has gone viral on social media.

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