Criminal Mastermind

The problem with being a world famous blogger, is you sometimes attract the wrong attention. My blog recently hit the #1 spot on the critter top ten popularity chart. Someone didn’t like that fact and left me a very clear message spray painted on the Woodpile. Who could it be? The mayor called in a favor from the French Chipmunk Government and they sent Inspector Clousseau to take over the investigation.

C-CSI (Chipmunk Crime Scene Investigators) have secured the “Crime Scene”

Inspector Clousseau arrives

I am going to get this guy!

I better dust for paw prints

Clousseau keeps a stash of snacks in his notebook

“IMPOSSIBLE! This can only be the work of my arch enemy the Phantom Chipmunk.”

Clousseau discovered that the Phantom Chipmunk’s darkweb blog had been in the #1 spot on the charts for the last year. The Phantom vented his frustration when I knocked him out of the #1 spot. We found these selfie photos on his blog the day after.

I have fond memories of the many crimes I have committed with this can of black spray paint.

I thought I heard a noise

Which color should I chose?

Always make sure the nozzle is clear

Someone is coming, quick hide.

Professional criminals always take pride in their work.

I took a selfie of myself with my “tools of the trade”

My criminal "masterpiece"

Sunflower Harvest Time

My sunflower garden went really well this year. As you will recall my secret to bountiful sunflowers is to “water” them with Guinness beer. I think the entire Woodpile was jealous of my success. This is my favorite time of year – harvesting sunflower seeds! I like to cut the heads off and harvest them on a specially made harvesting stump.

So many sees to chose from, where do I begin. Harvest time can be an emotionally overwhelming experience for me.

A photographer from the newspaper came out to capture the moment.

These seeds are literally bursting out of the sunflower head.

After much experimenting I have discovered a “vacuuming” technique

is the most efficient way to harvest seeds.

Cheek pouches come in handy for this job

It is always a smart idea to keep a watchful eye for seed thieves.

Goldfinches in particular are addicted to sunflower seeds. I went to chase this fellow off and he started citing U.W. international law. (Apparently he is a lawyer.) U.W. – United Woodpiles – it is similar to the human’s United Nations. He argued that anything above three feet in the air was considered “international airspace.” I got out my handy ax and brought him “back to earth.”

No sooner had I taken care of that overpriced lawyer, I had to deal with Woody the Woodpecker. Yes that same one of cartoon fame. His animation production crew was there to record every detail. Well, I guess you will have to watch his next episode to see what happen.

Guinness Hydroponics Seed Kit

I have gotten a lot of emails from my fellow critters who think this Guinness hydroponics seed kit was a scam. Let me set the record straight.

Here is living proof

 

If you look closely, I even have a bee on the sunflower pollinating it.

 

A close-up, just in case your eyesight isn’t what it use to be.

Squash Harvest

My prizing winning buttercup squash was viciously attacked and destroyed! They stole all of the seeds. I suspect sabotage. (… and you thought gardening was a relaxing and non-competitive hobby!) I wasn’t taking any more chances, I harvested everything and hired a security guard.

Warning, this is a “crime scene” photo and may be disturbing to my fellow gardeners.

I carefully inspected each squash for any more surprises but didn’t find any.

I started the labor intensive job of harvesting the seeds

Did you hear that rustling in the grass?

One always has to be on alert for potential thieves. Not that we ever get any at the Woodpile.

The first load is ready to be transported to my warehouse.

While Chippy is at his warehouse, the infamous “Phantom Chipmunk” strikes!

The Phantom hears Chippy returning and hides his loot.

He carefully slides it under the floor boards.

But he can’t resist just one more seed.

As an experienced thief, he washes his hands to get rid of the sticky evidence.

 

Hi everyone I am back. You didn't see any thieves hanging around did you? Let me introduce you to my new security "Black Widow". She is effective against insects, rodents, and humans!

The Phantom is deeply concerned the spider has spotted him and savoring him as a snack.

He quickly stuffed his cheeks and made his get away.