Saturday, April 25, 2020

Collecting Seed Donations


We country ’munks are blessed with an abundance of natural food, the ability to have gardens, and of course plenty of bird feeders to raid. Unfortunately, the chipmunks who live in suburban areas are not so blessed. They have to earn wages and buy their food at the seedmart. Many of them are out of work and forced to decide between paying the rent on their burrows and putting food on the table for their families. Chippy Jr.’s scout troop decided they wanted do something about this. They organized a “seed drive” to collect food for the foodbank. Being a volunteer leader with the troop, I joined in. We went door to door collecting seed donations. We were really surprised how generous the human beings were. We discovered that a number of our human neighbors even have a door knocker at chipmunk height!


Here is the first house. Let’s get started.


Wow, a chipmunk height door knocker.


Unfortunately no one seems to be home … wait a second, I hear the door opening!


Our first donation!


Word of our food collection drive travels faster than a chipmunk can run.
The next house we came to a donation was already on the brick patio.


I could use bigger cheek pouches.


Why do humans insist upon having so many steps to climb? This is exhausting.


But, it was well worth the climb.

 
 People’s generosity is heart warming.


I think I am going need some help with this donation.


Saturday, April 18, 2020

DIY Family Folk Band


You will probably be surprised to learn that us chipmunks occasionally do laundry. We have towels and linens to wash. The wife sent me to the laundry mat with the spring cleaning wash. I got there only to find a sign in the window saying the owner had gone to her vacation burrow in the White Mountains. My backup plan was to borrow an old fashion wash board from one of my fans.


How hard is it to use a wash board? I filled a tub full of soapy hot water, stuck the wash board in it. I left it in the hot water and ran to grab the wash. When I got back, I discovered that washboard had shrunk!!! I checked the instructions and discovered it said “cold water only wash.”


How am I suppose to explain to my fan that I shrunk her washboard? While I was contemplating this conundrum, Chippy Jr. walked by and jokingly said, “So, Dad you are starting a folk band?” I replied, “What a brilliant idea, DIY [do-it-yourself] instruments for a band.” I rummaged through the human’s recycling bin found some tin cans, bits of string and some rubber bands. I created a drum, rubber band “harp” and washtub string cello, and of course there was the shrunken washboard.


A tuna can makes a perfect drum


I asked Chippy Jr. to move the washboard to a different part of the stage.


He found a creative way to move it on his back.


Claws come in handy for playing the washboard


The wife had me move the washtub cello.


She didn’t like the new spot so she had me move it back to the old one!


Finally satisfied she started playing a beautiful melody on it.


I ended up with the rubber band harp. 


I couldn’t figure out why it didn’t make any sounds until 
I discovered that some jokester had stuffed it full of sunflower seeds.


The audience (practicing social distancing) was in complete rapture with the concert.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Crash Landing


The Woodpile constable was looking for “deputies” to help patrol and enforce social distancing rules. It sounded excited so I volunteered. A bunch of us got sworn in and assigned various shifts. I was a bit disappointed to learn that we weren’t being issued a tin badge and a six shooter like they do in the Western movies. Instead, we got a ticket pad for issuing citation for violators. We are suppose to write out the ticket, fold it into a paper airplane and send it “airmail” to the violator.

I took the 4am to 10am shift. I diligently search every nook and cranny of the Woodpile for several hours but not a single critter was stirring. About 6:30 a robin started singing and broke the eerie silence. It was a welcomed respite from the monotony of my rounds. By 7am I found a nice cozy lookout on the woodpile and started to nod off. I was dreaming about taking my family out to eat followed by a movie … ahh the good olde days. Suddenly I was startled awake by a loud whirling buzzing noise. It got louder and louder followed by the sound of something crashing to the ground. I crouched down trying to conceal myself and wait for the constable to investigate. Then I remembered I was a deputy and it was my job now to check out the danger. Despite my trembling paws, I managed to crawl in the direction I heard the crash. I used logs fallen off the Woodpile to conceal my approach. The closer I got the more my heart rate increased.

 
I reluctantly climbed over the last log and came nose to nose with a UFO! I lost my balance and tumbled backwards off the log. When I got up the courage, I took a second look. No doubt about it a genuine UFO landing in the Woodpile. Mom told us about UFO sightings reported by humans many years ago within a 30 mile radius of the Woodpile. I had always thought they were what humans call “fish stories.” Obviously, I should have paid better attention.

I ran back to the Constabulary and consulted the thick binder of emergency procedures. It covers everything from pandemics to nuclear meltdowns … but nothing about UFOs. I was on my own. What would Captain Kirk do? Right, make “first contact.” Okay, I would offer the aliens a beer but our supply ran out last week. I suppose I could just talk to them.

 
“Greetings. I am the supreme leader of the Woodpilers”
(I always want to say that.) [no response]


“Buddy, you’re in a no parking zone, I going to have to give you a ticket.”
[no response]


When all else fails just starting pushing buttons. I will start with this big green one.

 
Something is happening.


Whoa! This must be the aliens supply ship landed in advance of their invasion!


I am going to stop the invasion by hiding all of their sunflower seeds in my burrow.

My cousin Vinnie the P. dropped by my burrow with his gloves and face mask on. He just finished his online class lecture. He is teaching a course on advance hoarding techniques. He has ten chipmunk students and 553 humans in the class. He was telling me about how he ordered a supply of sunflower seeds from Amazon. It was scheduled to arrive today by automated drone delivery service. He was wondering if I had seen the delivery in my rounds.  Well, let me think for a moment [whirling buzzing noise = drone … UFO supply ship = seed delivery]. “Vinnie, I just got a text from the Constable, a food riot at the seedmart, gotta go. … Why don’t you help yourself to some of my seeds in the meantime. I got plenty.”


Saturday, April 4, 2020

Burrow Fever


This shelter-in-burrow business is really putting a crimp in my usual adventures. There is only so much de-cluttering and tidying up one can do. I even tried counting all the seeds in the storage units. I lost count after ten thousand. The family has over a year’s supply of food. Mom, our human caretaker, mentioned she is taking walks at different places (while practicing social distancing.) I hopped on the internet to look up places to take the family. I found the Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary run by Massachusetts Audubon. These humans have such quaint notions – a “wildlife sanctuary” – we critters have been living a civilized life for hundreds of years.

We hitched a ride with Mom. When we got there, I grabbed a trail map. There was something called the “Rockery” which got the kids all excited. I had never heard the term before. It is some fancy Victorian word for a rock garden. A rockery is no ordinary “rock garden.” It is a gargantuan man-made pile of rocks with tunnels, rustic stairs and lookout area on the top. Originally it would have been planted with flowering vines and plants, shrubs and trees. Today it is part of the forest. The kids went crazy playing tag and hide & seek. They climbed over the rocks with reckless abandon. I was quite proud of their climbing skills but pretended to be terrified after I saw the look on the wife’s face and the scolding she gave the kids.

At the Woodpile we have the humans well trained to feed us chipmunks, squirrels and birds. I was a bit surprised and annoyed to discover the humans visiting the sanctuary paid absolutely no attention to us four pawed furry critters. Instead they brought huge bags of sunflower seeds and shelled peanuts for the birds. Yes, you heard me right, they were feeding the birds. The birds have the humans so well trained that the humans would put out their hands full of seed and the birds would land on their hands to select the best seeds and nuts. The local four pawed critters were stuck with the few scraps that inadvertently fell to the ground.

Last year, I introduced you to Bushy’s teenage daughter Georgina or “Red” to her friends. She is one that likes to dye her fur red. Well, we ran into her at the sanctuary. Turns our she is interning there as part of an environmental science program. She is learning about how to reduce the negative impacts humans are having on the natural world.


The kids voted this the best playground ever


There were tunnels to explore for pirate treasure …


Rustics stair to follow …


Uncharted paths to wander …


Strange rocks from Mars (at least according to the kids)


Georgina was surprised to see us.


She asked us to take a couple of pictures for her facebook page


I asked were all the chipmunks lived at the sanctuary. Apparently there is just one ‘munk known as the hermit. For a hermit he turned out to be a talkative fellow. Apparently we are the first chipmunk visitors he has seen in a year.


The birds at the sanctuary live a life of luxury and opulence. The humans hand feed them.


It is the middle of the afternoon and this pair of Canadian geese are taking a nap.


We were walking along the boardwalk when I saw some dropped peanuts ahead. I was about to run ahead to get the family a snack when this Redwing blackbird started squawking at me.
 


The Redwing blackbird then swooped down gobbled up all the peanuts! Hey, I saw them first!



I complained to the local constable that I had been robbed "butt" all he did was made a rude gesture.

Now I understand why it is called a “wildlife” sanctuary, the residents have absolutely no manners!