Childhood Aspirations and the Power of Imagination

I know all of my fans are “young at heart” but are adults with real world responsibilities. Just for a moment lets step back in time to before you grew your whiskers and had boundless energy. What did you imagine you would be when you grew up? Doctor? Scientist? Chef? World famous blogger? For me it was none of the above. My dream was to grow up to be a WWI flying ace just like my hero, Snoopy. Every fall I would watch the TV special in which Snoopy climbed onto his dog house and it magically turned into a plane and he fought dog fights with the Red Baron. (At the time I didn’t know he was just a cartoon character).

At the Woodpile, one day an old bird house fell out of the tree above and landed on a stump. It had seen better days. The paint had long ago peeled away. For me, it was the ultimate structure to play on. With just a bit of imagination it became a flying dog house.

I heard a loud “thud” and climbed up to investigate

 

As a little ’munk this was the coolest most awesome looking play ground.

Checking to see if any birds were at home.

I climbed up into the “cockpit”

As I grabbed hold of the controls and fired up the engine it transformed into a flying dog house before my eyes. Piloting the plane I could feel the wind rushing by.

My older brother did not want to be left out. As the red baron hot in pursuit of me swooped down, my brother devised a plan.

 With perfect timing he jumped aboard.

 Holding on tightly he yelled to the Baron “Let’s get him!”

He manned the machine gun with his two paws as they tried to shoot me down.
(Some serious sibling rivalry issues!)

When they ran out of ammo, my brother started throwing sunflower seeds at me!

Well Dad had enough of that and told us it was time to let the other critter kids play.
So ended my dream of becoming a WWI flying ace.

Thanksgiving Day Feast and the Big Game

It is that time of year again, for the Thanksgiving Day feast and the Big Game. We at the Woodpile have much to be thankful for. We have had a bountiful seed harvest, Tomato Bob had the best tomato harvest of his life, he opened  a pizzeria, we got a fresh load of wood to spruce up the Woodpile, and my investment in a toilet paper company stocks has paid off handsomely.

I have been asked to prepare my signature dish for Thanksgiving meal: raw pumpkin seeds in the pulp. It is the equivalent of what you humans call oysters on the half shell. (Once you try it once, you will never go back to pumpkin pie again). The real trick to preparing this exquisite treat is to find a pumpkin at the peak of ripeness that hasn’t turn into mush yet. It sometimes takes me days of checking all the pumpkins used as decoration around the neighborhood to find the perfect one to “liberate.” It helps to have a discriminating sniffer. I have learned to pick out the best pumpkin by smell.

The perfect pumpkin it scored 99 out a 100 for ripeness.

The kids couldn’t wait for dinner and got into the pumpkins seeds for breakfast.

Almost ready to be served.

The second I served it, Bushy pounced on the tray. Squirrels are ravenously hungry at this time of year. Evolution programmed them to put on as much weight as they could for the winter. Obviously today with seed marts and modern storage units, it is totally unnecessary. Bushy likes to use it as an excuse to stuff his face with his favorite foods.

Having stuffed out ourselves with ten pounds of pumpkin seeds it was time to watch the Big Game at the stadium. In recent years the Woodpile has tried to host a different type of game each year. We opted for a “Football” game. No not American football but European Football, I think you call it soccer. The Woodpile Council couldn’t find enough cash in the budget to build a regulation soccer field, so they chose to rent a soccer field. They checked out a bunch of human size fields and realized it would take 90 minutes for a player to get the ball down the length of the field. My cousin Vinnie suggested they get a miniature field from an arcade. It would be the perfect size for critters. As a bonus it came with two teams. The Woodpile Mayor made the arrangements. The rental field was delivered Thanksgiving Day.

The referee explained the rules of the game. After fifteen minutes of listening to the ref, the crowd grew inpatient and started tossing sunflower seeds onto the field. The ref wrapped things up real quick, saying the idea was to get the ball into the opposing team’s goal. (Why couldn’t he have just said that 15 minutes ago!)

Chipmunks have a unique advantage when it comes to playing the goalie position. We can stretch out of bodies to fill up nearly the entire goal. Although this fella has left a gap in the upper right corner.

 The guest team's goalie ran out to grab the ball but missed and watched helplessly as …

 … Chippy Jr. took advantage of an unguarded goal and sneaked through the yellow defenders to score! 

 

 The referee is on the lookout for rule breakers. It doesn’t take him long to find one.

 

He flagged one of the guest team members for illegal contact: paws to the head. 

 

A member of the guest team is distracted by a spectator
“offering” free beer and the ball rolls right past him.

The guest team has the ball and a member of the Woodpile team is ready to stop them.

Woodpile goalie sits on top of the net for a better view.

Unfortunately, the guest team’s best player makes an amazing move and scores. The game is all tied up.

The spectators are on the edge of their logs with only minutes left in the game.

In desperation the Woodpile coach signals “straight shot.” One of Woodpile teams dribbles the ball straight down the field.

 

 

He jumps over players …

 

The spectators cheer him on

He slips through a small gap in the defenders line to score!

In classic chipmunk fashion, he does the puffed cheek victory dance.

Hunting 2020

On my way to get a fresh cup of coffee this morning, I passed by this hunter who was fast asleep in the warm morning sun. He had a couple of guns big enough to hunt elephants with. I thought to myself that is a wee bit of overkill for moth hunting season. The unseasonable warm fall has meant the moths are still flying around, so, the hunting season got extended by a couple of weeks. His name tag on his hunting vest read, “Elmer Big Game Hunter.” Obviously another hunter with an inflated ego trying to impress his drinking buddies. I snapped a photo of him snoozing to post on social media to give his buddies a good laugh.

I searched for his social media page so I could post this embarrassing photo. His screen name is Elmer the Monkey and he runs a popular “Big Game Hunting” blog.

On the blog, Elmer boosts about the “stuffed animals” he has on his walls – Wile E. Coyote, Road Runner, and a long list of African big game animals. I didn’t realize you could get a life size lion as a plush toy. What a strange thing for an adult to collect.

According Elmer, the ultimate trophy to collect is an Eastern Chipmunk (Tamias Striatus). They are described as the most ferocious and dangerous big game on the planet. They have razor sharp claws, explosive speed, and are cunningly intelligent. They are known to stalk the hunter for days on end to strike fear into their foe. He rambles on how all of his hunting buddies have tried to get one only to return dazed and confused with a look of shear terror on their faces. And something about the fact he's heading out this weekend to go hunting at the Woodpile… wait a second … did he say “chipmunk” and “Woodpile?”

I think he means us!!! Lets look at the calendar, oh, it is already the weekend. This can’t be good.

I recall a few years ago, a bunch of juvenile ‘munks stole the smart phones from a group of hunters. Those hunters were completely lost without their “game finder app” and “turn-by-turn trail navigation app” and “restaurant finder app”. They spent days wandering helpless around the woods. We finally rescued them after tracking them for a week.

I went back to confirm it was Elmer the Monkey. It sent shivers through me to know we had such a dangerous hunter stalking the Woodpile.

 

I got up the courage to get closer. Lucky for me, this fella is heavy sleeper.

 

Vinnie decided to run an experiment. He wanted to know if Elmer would notice his gun was repositioned when he woke up from his nap.

Word got out in the Woodpile about our famous visitor. Everyone was surprised by how short he was. He looked so much taller in his blog. He must use photoshop to alter his aappearance.

Everyone wanted a selfie with our “guest”

Mrs. Spot’s class made a “tiger” out of clay and we put it in front of Elmer’s hunting blind. (lower right in photo) Then the kids played tiger sounds. Elmer must have jump ten inches high when he heard the noise. A look of panic crossed his face as he fumbled around looking for his gun. He started shooting wildly until he ran out of bullets.

I popped up in the blind and asked “Whats up doc?” (I always want to say that.)

Vinnie then asked “What are you hunting?” Elmer replied, “I gonna bag me a ‘munk.”

A bit apprehensive, Vinnie partially hid behind the blind for protection. Elmer paid no attention to him while he scanned the area for ‘munks. It dawned on Vinnie to inquire, “What do these ‘munks look like?”  Elmer said with great sincerity, “I will recognize one when I see it. Now run along and don’t bother me, I got to concentrate on getting me a ‘munk.”

Alvin and the Chipmunks Reunion Concert

For all of the accomplishments we chipmunks have made, we only have one claim to fame in the music industry. Alvin and the Chipmunks made quite a debut splash back in 1958 when they recorded there first album. The band was made up of Alvin, Simon and Theodore. They had a human band manager named Dave. I have old 45 rpm vinyl recording someplace. The band has been retired for some time.

Alvin, the band leader, was famous or infamous (depending on your perspective) for being a loud mouth trouble maker. Apparently not much has changed. My buddy Merry was traveling when he had an opportunity to help Alvin out of his latest scrape. Alvin asked him what he could do to thank Merry. Merry jokingly replied, wouldn’t it be great to get the band back together for a reunion concert at the Woodpile. They both laughed and went their separate ways.

This morning a funky looking tour bus pulled up at the Woodpile, and three highly recognizable and famous chipmunks poured out. Their crew started setting up a stage. Word of the concert spread faster than the speed of light.

Alvin dropped by Merry’s burrow with a special announcement. Each of the band members would take turns singing some of their most iconic songs with Merry’s folk band. Merry was ecstatic!

 

 

The sound manager checks audio levels in his control log. He is overheard muttering to himself “Wireless control seed 1X5 needs to be plugged into input #3 …”

 

Alvin holds a quick rehearsal with Merry’s folk band.

A crowd began gathering hours before the start of the concert. Prim, proper and rather shy Theodore shocks the crowd by working the turntable playing classic rock and roll songs.

All of a sudden the turntable stops working to everyone’s disappointment.

Theodore dives in to see what the problem is and finds a sunflower seed jamming up the works.

A quick flick of the paws and he gets it spinning again to the delight of the crowd.

With the concert about to begin, a technician makes one final sound check.

Alvin takes the stage to deafening applause.

Without further ado, Merry, Alvin, Archie and Spitfire dive into the first song.

Alvin jams with Merry showing him a new unscripted “signature move”
he has invented called the stretch.

Its not a classic Alvin and the Chipmunks concert without band manager Dave interrupting and yelling at Alvin for goofing off. Alvin pretends to be “MR. Innocent”

 For the next piece, Alvin takes the mike

Next on stage is Simon who hits some high notes

Simon is followed by Theodore who surprisingly doesn’t need to the mike to reach the audience with his wonderful voice.

Alvin has the audience laughing uncontrollably as the band sings an off color Irish drinking song.