The wife wanted me to paint the burrow door white. She was getting tired of the “distressed look” (a/k/a peeling paint). I went online to the bargain website Home Burrow and ordered white house paint. I got a great deal on it. I should have read the fine print. Home Burrow reserves the right to substitute a different product which will achieve the same result. Instead of getting a pint of white paint, they sent a snowstorm to the Woodpile in the middle of April. It wasn’t such a great bargain after all.
Since it was miserable outside, the family decided to watch a classic movie. I hooked up the VCR and we watched the Wizard of Oz. We were transported to this magical otherworldly place of vibrant colors and an Emerald City. I went to bed that night hoping to dream of planting a new crop of Guinness flavored sunflower seeds. Instead I had this most bizarre nightmare. I received a seed catalog in the mail which advertised sunflowers that could withstand snowstorms, droughts, hurricanes and forest fires. Each seed was only one penny apiece. What a bargain! Naturally, I ordered them. I diligently planted over a acre of them. Twenty-four hours later they burst above ground creating a forest of plants. Maybe “plants’ is not the right word. They felt and looked liked glass globes. However, when I took my carbide tipped steel axe to one of them, the axe shattered into a dozen pieces.
After destroying my axe, I looked up and all I could see was a forest of these globes. I thought I could see the Woodpile in the distance and tried walking towards it. Soon I realized I was completely lost in my own garden. The worst part was there wasn’t a single sunflower seed to eat! It finally dawned on me to use the yellow brick road app on my cell phone to navigate my way home. I searched my cheek pouches but couldn’t find my phone.
I started to smell the distinctive aroma that comes from the Bottomless Cup café when they fire up their coffee urns at 5am. I snapped awake, only to discover I had been sleep walking. I found myself in the Woodpile’s newest outdoor art exhibit of hand blown glass globes. Boy was I relieved until I realized I was still totally lost! … An inner voice finally whispered to me “follow the aroma.” As I reached out for the cup of coffee, the same voice whispered “That will be five dollars plus a generous tip.”
The “garden” in my nightmare
What are these “plants” made of glass?
These don’t look like sunflower plants
I am starving but there isn’t a single sunflower seed to be found anywhere.
I need to get out of here. Hmmm. I think I should go this way.
No, I think I should go in the opposite direction.
Hold on, it must be this direction.
Sniff, sniff ... what is that familiar aroma I am smelling?
I found my way out my following the aroma of coffee from the Bottomless Cup café
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