Sunday, September 19, 2021

Job Hunting Mis-Adventures

On the second Friday of the month, Merry holds a game night at his place. There was quite a crowd playing Scrabble, card games, and Monopoly with real cash. There were plenty of snacks and fresh cider. The topic of conversation was the hot job market. The competition between employers was really heating up. There has been a 50% jump in starting hourly rates. A number of critters have been shopping around for higher paying work. I heard a number of success stories. Two job interviews stood out and I thought I would share them.

Archie the Grasshopper hasn’t had good luck in the job market. Merry has been helping with  potential job leads. Recently, Merry found a really exciting job posting – lighthouse keeper at the Plum Island station. The job pays $50 an hour and includes an employee life insurance plan (which I thought was a bit odd). They went out for an interview.

The lighthouse looked almost brand new when they arrived. It  must be well maintained.

Archie and Merry arrived an hour early for the interview. No one was around so they peaked in the windows.

After looking inside, Archie looked a bit worried, so Merry asked what was wrong.

Archie pointed out all the stairs you needed to climb just to get to the job. Merry laughed it off and suggested that Archie think about it as an employee health club built into the job. The power of positive thinking. 

 

To pass the time before the interview, Archie and Merry wandered down to the beach and were chatting up the locals. They asked one of the locals, a gull, if she had known the previous lighthouse keeper and she answered in the affirmative. Archie asked how the previous keeper was enjoying retirement. The gull replied, the last keeper didn’t retire, he was blown away along with the light house in the winter nor’easter of December 2020 to some place named the Emerald City. They just got a postcard from him recently. Suffice to say, Archie took a pass on this job opportunity. 

 

Joey who has aspirations of becoming a super model saw an advertisement in the human newspaper looking for a critter who could strike a pose. Some rich guy was offering a 1000 seeds per hour plus benefits. Here is Joey arriving for the interview.

He had never been to an interview in which they offered snacks!

There was a photographer at the interview and he was asked to do several different poses. “No, no, no, I need you facing the other direction” yelled the photographer.

“Right direction, wrong pose … I need something more aerodynamic.”

Perfection!


 Now just hold that pose while I turn on the car. I needed a new hood ornament to replace the one I lost doing 75 mph on the highway.

Joey was heard saying as he left the interview in a hurry “you can’t pay me enough seeds to do this job, I’m out of here!!!!”

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