The Ghost of the Woodpile

We had a load of wood delivered to refresh the Woodpile. Now comes the not so fun part of having to stack it. Parents at the Woodpile usually “delegate” that chore to their kids. We parents offer the usual explanations that it’s good for the kids to learn about hard work, pitching in to help out the community, and it’s character building. The kids were not buying into any of that this year. The load of wood has sat unstacked for a couple of weeks. I started telling the kids about the ghost that haunts disheveled piles of wood. It continues to haunt everyone until the wood is nice and neatly stacked. Not surprisingly they didn’t believe me and some even laughed at me.

I came up with a plan to create the Ghost of the Woodpile.

I made a ghost out of an old handkerchief. Unfortunately, I noticed the kids completely ignored it and used the pile of wood as a playground.

I soon discovered why my ghost wasn’t working. The kids saw a Titmouse land cautiously near the ghost.

 
It worked its way over to the ghost and grabbed a seed from my snack pile, and the ghost didn’t move an inch. I switched to plan “B”.

One of the kids approached the ghost with the intent of exposing it has a fake.

He cautiously approached to see if he could get a reaction. Nothing happened.

In aloud voice he called out “I not afraid of any ghost.”

Then he got brave enough to climb up on the ghost.

That’s when I slowly poked my head out from the white cloth as if I had been awoken from a long nap.

The kid slid off the ghost and slowly backed away while I steered intently at him as if I could see straight through his skull.

I started to move the cloth around. In my best imitation of a ghostly voice, I bellowed out “Thou shall stack the wood or forever be haunted!

 
“Yikes, the Ghost of the Woodpile is real!!!”

Terrified he ran off to tell the other kids.

I never saw a ‘munk run so fast in my life.

After a hard day’s work scaring kids, the “Ghost of the Woodpile” enjoyed a snack of sunflower seeds.

Making Hard Cider

Last week’s blog ended with a bit of a cliff hanger: After getting a great “bargain” on some crab apples, we discovered it wasn’t such a great deal. The apples were sour. I mean really sour. We thought about apple pies but some preliminary experiments determined it would take five pounds of sugar for every pound of apples. Chippy Jr. and his teenage friends wanted the apples for the catapult they just built in Vinnie’s after school science club. Mrs. Spot our school teacher didn’t think that was such a good idea. On the  bright side,  Mrs. Spot told us about something called “hard cider” that colonial farmers made from their apples. Hard cider was what hard working ‘munks drank before Guinness Sunflower Ale was created. She explained the basic technique for making it. First step was to press the juice from the apples.

We were all excited about the prospects of making hard cider but then we realized we had no idea how to “press apples.” We put the apples in a wide barrel and tried to crush them with our paws like you see folks doing to make wine from grapes. Suffice to say, that was a total failure. Vinnie grabbed Mom’s hydraulic log splitter and made a few modifications. Technically this worked just as Vinnie’s computer simulations predicted … except for the fact the juice splattered all over the ground in a 15 foot radius. I tried to patiently explain to Vinnie we  needed to collect the juice in a bowl before we put it into barrels. We needed a press that was slower with a bit less muscle. I knew just the right tool for the job.

I rummaged around Mom’s basement till I found it. It took me a hour to move it into position at the Woodpile. Not a problem I had plenty of snacks with me.

Welcome to the Woodpile Cider Press. Not bad if I says so myself. Oh great, the building inspector just arrived, I forgot to pull a permit.

Hold on, I will distract the inspector with some free Godiva sunflower seeds while I fill out the permit application online! 

 

I got the apples in the press, ready to press.

All of us chipmunks, tried and tried but we didn’t have enough strength to turn the handle and crush the apples. We needed some advice.

Any advice Archie? Archie the grasshopper replied “Put out a help wanted sign!”

 

 

Within five minutes of putting up the sign we had all sorts of applications. A titmouse from the iron workers union and a squirrel from the acorn crushing union arrived at the same time.

These two squirrels were sizing each other up. One of them decided to look for job opportunities elsewhere.

Quickly growing tired of all the competition the squirrel decided to take down the help wanted sign when no one was watching.

He acted all innocent when I arrived a few minutes later for the interview.

The lack of a “help wanted” sign didn’t deter this small fellow. This vole wasn’t intimidated by the squirrel, he didn’t back down a millimeter, he was applying for the job as well. We decided to hire everyone who had applied. We needed all the help we could get!!

The squirrel provided the necessary strength to run the press.

We nicknamed him “Muscles”

“Muscles” tossed up the apples to the titmouse who loaded them into the press.

Half way through, the press jammed up. I called out the resident expert on things metal and mechanical. Spitfire, the dragonfly, “communed” with our press for five minutes than announced it need some oil in the screw mechanism. We were back in business.

The vole was appointed our health and safety coordinator. She found these sunflower seeds on the factory floor.

No problem, she ate them all and swept the floor clean. Excellent job.

Okay who dumped their sunflower seed shells in the apple juice?

Pressing apples was hard work. Just about everyone “sampled” the juice after a hard day’s work.

I am afraid they were a bit disappointed. This photo captures their reaction. Nothing like sour apple juice. I finally sat everyone down and explained it would take time for the apple juice to ferment and become something worth drinking.

 

Apple Picking

With the beautiful fall weather we have been having, a bunch of us at the Woodpile decided we needed to get in the spirit of the season. After some brain storming, we all agreed to go apple picking. We arrived at the local orchard but were shocked by touristy prices they were charging and the big crowds. While contemplating our next move, a gust of wind sent a crumbled sales flyer tumbling into our midst. I grab it and read “Crab Apple Farm, get away from the big crowds and pick a basketful of apples for $1. Critter friendly.”

It has this photo on the front of a tree loaded with delicious looking apples. That sounded perfect for us.

 

I grabbed my baskets and off we went.

 

The Orchard was a bit overgrown with weeds but the trees were critter height.

 

This tree is loaded, I can do all my picking right here.

 

So many apples and not enough baskets to collect them all

 

 My cousin Vinnie finally joined us. He was all excited. He pointed to the sales flyer and explained they didn’t say how big the basket could be. Then he showed us the huge basket he had “liberated” from unsuspecting human’s front porch.

My baskets looked downright puny compared to my cousin’s. They only hold three apples apiece his holds fifty! This is embarrassing. My cousin with his fancy Ph.D. education is a better bargain hunter than me.

Vinnie announced loudly, “Listen up my fellow ‘munks, I have a proposition for you. I will never be able to fill this huge basket by myself. Lets all dump our baskets in the big one and then split everything evenly later.” Everyone murmured agreement with this brilliant plan.

Vinnie took charge of loading the big basket. We wanted to packet them in as tight as possible.

We could just barely keep Vinnie supplied with enough apples.

 Someone tossed me two more small baskets to fill.

 With everyone’s cooperation, we filled half the basket in thirty minutes.

 In the spirit of our cooperative adventure, I shared my basket of snacks with everyone.

 

It gave everyone the energy and motivation to finish filling the basket.

 Has anyone tasted one of these crab apples? They are sour!!!

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Pumpkin Judging Day

The big day has finally arrived at the Topsfield Fair, time for the pumpkin and squash judging contest. This is the first time critters have had their own contest, so, we had entries from around country. To build up suspense competitors had to deliver their prize pumpkin or squash one by one to the exhibit hall and were not allowed to see what the other competitors brought in.

Tomato Bob from the Woodpile remains super confident. His pumpkin was so big, we almost exceeded the legal weight limit of the dump truck we used to bring it to the fair. He had used his special compost tea to fertilize it.

All the competitors got together for coffee and sunflower seed pancakes the morning of the judging. It was interesting to hear all the different approaches to growing giant pumpkins and squash. Some brought soil scientists in to find the most nutrient rich soil on their farm, some mixed their own chemical fertilizer blends, others installed special irrigation systems with moisture sensors, 1000 watt grow lights at night, and so forth. I didn’t realize how serious critters could be about this contest.

The conversation really got interesting with all the “fish stories” they started telling each other about how they got their entries to the fair. We heard about construction cranes being brought in to lift them out of the growing patch, tractor trailers with “oversized load” signs, having to plan travel routes to avoid low bridge clearances, and the list goes on. I give them an A+ for creative with their travel stories.

The judge announced there were 300 pumpkin entries and only two entries for squash. That seemed a bit lopsided. I asked Tomato Bob about that. He said “Think about it, what has every young critter and their parents watched each Halloween – the Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin special on TV.”

The judge and her crew spent all night weighing pumpkins to narrow the field down to the top three heaviest. She was just about to unveil the three finalists. A fair wide announced was made about the impending “big reveal” over the public address system. There was a scramble by spectators to find the optimum viewing spot.

The prime viewing spots were all grabbed within a matter of seconds.

All eyes were focused on the pumpkin judging stand.

 You could sense the anticipation and excitement in the audience.

The curtain was dropped to reveal the finalists and there was a collective gasp of surprise from the audience. No one expected pumpkins this big.

After the “big reveal,” the judge announced they were going to start with the squash contest first. The event organizers really know how to build up the suspense and tension in the air.

The squash was being judged both on weight and quality.

The judge took a long time to evaluate both entries.
So long she had to stop for a snack break in the middle!!

 

 

After what seemed like an eternity, the winner was announced.

The farmer posed with his first place squash.

 

Finally back to the pumpkin contest. This looks promising the judge is taking a close look at Tomato Bob’s entry.

Well this is highly unusual. One of the contestants is on the judging platform and doesn’t look very happy. Wait, he is removing his pumpkin. They just made an announcment, this entry has been disqualified! The contestant was caught trying to bribe the judge.

The judge announces the first place winner, a pumpkin from Ohio.

Poor Tomato Bob looks on in shock and disbelief by the sheer size of the winner. It is almost double the size of his pumpkin (on the right) which took second place. Tomato Bob recovered quickly and started chatting up the winner to learn all his secrets to success. Turns out Ohio has some of the richest farm land in the country. Tomato Bob hopped on the internet and found a place selling rich Ohio soil by the truck load and was willing to deliver to his pumpkin patch at the Woodpile. This aught to be a really competitive contest next year.

The soap opera drama isn’t over yet. What is our disqualified contestant up to now?

 

The audience burst into giggles and laughter as our disqualified contestant tried to hide the first prize ribbon with his tail.

First Place comes with a silver plate trophy and a silver Viking seed bowl.

 

The winner inaugurated a tradition of eating out the Viking bowl as part of the award ceremony.