Making Hard Cider

Last week’s blog ended with a bit of a cliff hanger: After getting a great “bargain” on some crab apples, we discovered it wasn’t such a great deal. The apples were sour. I mean really sour. We thought about apple pies but some preliminary experiments determined it would take five pounds of sugar for every pound of apples. Chippy Jr. and his teenage friends wanted the apples for the catapult they just built in Vinnie’s after school science club. Mrs. Spot our school teacher didn’t think that was such a good idea. On the  bright side,  Mrs. Spot told us about something called “hard cider” that colonial farmers made from their apples. Hard cider was what hard working ‘munks drank before Guinness Sunflower Ale was created. She explained the basic technique for making it. First step was to press the juice from the apples.

We were all excited about the prospects of making hard cider but then we realized we had no idea how to “press apples.” We put the apples in a wide barrel and tried to crush them with our paws like you see folks doing to make wine from grapes. Suffice to say, that was a total failure. Vinnie grabbed Mom’s hydraulic log splitter and made a few modifications. Technically this worked just as Vinnie’s computer simulations predicted … except for the fact the juice splattered all over the ground in a 15 foot radius. I tried to patiently explain to Vinnie we  needed to collect the juice in a bowl before we put it into barrels. We needed a press that was slower with a bit less muscle. I knew just the right tool for the job.

I rummaged around Mom’s basement till I found it. It took me a hour to move it into position at the Woodpile. Not a problem I had plenty of snacks with me.

Welcome to the Woodpile Cider Press. Not bad if I says so myself. Oh great, the building inspector just arrived, I forgot to pull a permit.

Hold on, I will distract the inspector with some free Godiva sunflower seeds while I fill out the permit application online! 

 

I got the apples in the press, ready to press.

All of us chipmunks, tried and tried but we didn’t have enough strength to turn the handle and crush the apples. We needed some advice.

Any advice Archie? Archie the grasshopper replied “Put out a help wanted sign!”

 

 

Within five minutes of putting up the sign we had all sorts of applications. A titmouse from the iron workers union and a squirrel from the acorn crushing union arrived at the same time.

These two squirrels were sizing each other up. One of them decided to look for job opportunities elsewhere.

Quickly growing tired of all the competition the squirrel decided to take down the help wanted sign when no one was watching.

He acted all innocent when I arrived a few minutes later for the interview.

The lack of a “help wanted” sign didn’t deter this small fellow. This vole wasn’t intimidated by the squirrel, he didn’t back down a millimeter, he was applying for the job as well. We decided to hire everyone who had applied. We needed all the help we could get!!

The squirrel provided the necessary strength to run the press.

We nicknamed him “Muscles”

“Muscles” tossed up the apples to the titmouse who loaded them into the press.

Half way through, the press jammed up. I called out the resident expert on things metal and mechanical. Spitfire, the dragonfly, “communed” with our press for five minutes than announced it need some oil in the screw mechanism. We were back in business.

The vole was appointed our health and safety coordinator. She found these sunflower seeds on the factory floor.

No problem, she ate them all and swept the floor clean. Excellent job.

Okay who dumped their sunflower seed shells in the apple juice?

Pressing apples was hard work. Just about everyone “sampled” the juice after a hard day’s work.

I am afraid they were a bit disappointed. This photo captures their reaction. Nothing like sour apple juice. I finally sat everyone down and explained it would take time for the apple juice to ferment and become something worth drinking.