Mom’s bird feeding station has the dubious honor of making the Top Ten list of most notorious bird feeder yards by the Squirrel Syndicate. Meaning the best and brightest critters have failed to steal any seeds from mom’s feeders. The Top Ten list has inspired a new sporting event. The Critter Sports Network is filming a new TV series – Extreme Feeder Raiding. This ten episode series, works its way through the top ten list from easiest to hardest. In the final tenth challenge, the list of contestants was reduced to ten. Not surprising all ten spots were won by chipmunks not by squirrels. No you don’t need new glasses, you read that correctly – chipmunks. You see humans have spent the past fifty years developing “squirrel proof” bird feeders. I see you’re catching on. Bird feeders are designed to foil anything the size and weight of a squirrel. They have weaknesses us chipmunks have figured out how to exploit.
Unfortunately for us, Mom knows all about these loopholes. Mom's countermeasures are so good, the Extreme Feeder Raiding show decided to film their big final challenge episode here at the Woodpile. It was a three feeder challenge. The first feeder look easy enough to raid but it turned our Mom had “modified” it so it closed the seed holes for any visitor that weighed more than a bird. No one beat that feeder. The second feeder was hanging off a branch. It took an hour of climbing a maze of limbs to reach the feeder only to discover Mom has hung the feeder using fishing line. Score: Mom - 2, Critters - 0. The final challenge was a feeder on one of those metal posts. One by one the contestants tried to shimmy up the pole. As each one slid down, it was beginning to look like no one would win. (Mom's secret, she has greased the pole). As the final contestant failed, the show’s producers didn’t know what to do. How could they admit some human had defeated the best of the best feeder raiders. Mom - 3, Critters – 0.
One of the local teenage chipmunks, who his friends call “Monkey”, scaled the pole in less than three seconds. When he reached the top of the feeder he called out to all his friends and all the cameras turned to focus on him. He worked his way down to the seed holes and started tossing seeds down to his buddies.
"Hey guys, come quick before anyone notices."
“We can go swimming afterwards.”
“I am only holding on with two paws.”
"I think this is a new record, emptying the feeder in less than fifteen minutes!"
"Good to the last seed!"
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