Yard Sale

This fall the wife decided "we" needed to have a fall cleaning of the burrow. This spontaneous house cleaning coincided with her announcement she needed a crafting room for her and her lady friends. The target for this cleaning effort was, yes you guessed right, my “man burrow.” My favorite chair, popcorn bowls, big game seed storage baskets and treasure chest table … had to go.

My wife didn’t trust me to run the yard sale. She thinks I would do something to sabotage it, so, I could keep everything. She gave me twenty bucks and sent me to the  Blackbird Tavern to watch the big game. Well, this ought to be interesting. I set up a camera and microphone to record everything.

[wife] "I need to make these items irresistible to customers. Let’s start by fixing that nasty beer and  popcorn smell in this chair. I have the perfect thing to fix that!"

[wife] "Let’s encourage customers to come in by serving some snacks."

 

Seriously, the ratty junk these chipmunks try to pawn off on others. This should be illegal.

 

[customer #1] “You never get free snacks at a yard sale. I better stuff my cheeks.”

[wife] “Excuse me young man, didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”
[customer #1] “Sorry ma’am, I beg your pardon. I will running along, now.”

 

[wife] This looks like a serious customer who wants to buy.

[customer #2[ ‘This is strange. What sane ‘munk serves snacks in a chair?”

[customer #2] “I better check under the chair. What is the seller
trying to hide by distracting customers with free snacks.”

[customer #2] “One leg is shorter than the other three. The chair is tipping if you shift your weight the wrong way. This lady wants a 100 seeds for this. She thinks she can pull the fur over my eyes!”

[customer #3] “Wow, this would be great to watch the superbowl in. Let’s see if this passes the sniff test?”

[customer #3] “Yuck, this smells like my grade school teacher’s perfume!”

[customer #3] “I’am out of here!”

[wife] “I spent 25 bucks on snacks and perfume, I didn’t sell a single thing. I don’t understand what went wrong. Time for plan B, I’ll just have a new room excavated for my craft room.”