Vinnie's "Gateway to Love"

As some of you may know, my cousin Vinnie the P. has advance degrees in Philosophy and Physics. Not surprisingly, he is a serious nerdy type. I was having a bit of fun and teasing him about the one thing all his fancy science and high fluting intellectual philosophy could never understand: love. (I do occasionally feel bad for Vinnie. He has never been on a date or had a girlfriend.) In typical Vinnie fashion, he took my joking as a serious challenge.

This all took place a couple weeks ago, and I completely forget about it. I woke up Valentine’s morning and checked my social media feeds and discovered there was a real buzz about Vinnie’s “Gateway to Love.” I figured this was one of Vinnie’s sad attempts at humor and crawled back into bed. I just about fell back to sleep when my boss at the Woodpile Times called and wanted me do a story on this. I took a quick shower, combed out my fur, and trimmed my whiskers before rushing out to see this.

I arrived at the Woodpile to find a huge heart floating in mid-air. Impressive! After years of tinkering, Vinnie must have finally got those anti-gravity prototypes working. Vinnie was standing on top of an overturned empty Guinness Sunflower Ale barrel touting the wonders of his “Gateway to Love.” He was guaranteeing everyone who passed through would discover love. All of the birds within a thirty-mile radius showed up for a chance to find love. I guess that is why they have earned the nickname “love birds.” Personally, I was skeptical about Vinnie’s “guarantee”, it sounded too good to be true. Well let’s see what happens …

These two house finches, who were longtime friends, realized they were soul mates. They plan on getting married. This must be beginners luck.

This Titmouse just “loves” the lime light. Her photo is already trending on social media.

This Shakespearean actor from Broadway sings out into verse, “To find love, or not to find love, that is the question” … “Heck, with that, the finches tell me there is food on the other side of the gateway. I love sunflower seeds.”

Well, I was left speechless by this remarkable demonstration. Through careful observation, Vinnie had come to the realization that love comes in many forms. His “Gateway to Love” was nothing more than the power of suggestion. He was helping critters to realize what they already knew deep down. I was about ready to concede that Vinnie had a better understanding of love then I realized when it dawned on me that one person wasn’t helped by his gateway. I triumphantly pointed out to Vinnie he had not discovered love himself! Vinnie’s reply “I just LOVE proving Chippy was wrong.”

The lesson learned from this story … never argue with a philosopher.