Sunday, September 20, 2020

The Bubble

The Woodpile has been trying to be a host for the International Cheek Pouch Stuffing Games for years. The international committee finally liked our proposal and we got the 2020 games. Then the pandemic hit which threatened to cancel the games. If that happened, the games would move on to the next host on the list. The broadcast license fees are worth thousands of seeds. (We really need the cash. The Woodpile is looking shabby and we need to order a fresh load of wood).

The Woodpile Council wanted to schedule a meeting to discuss our options. But, they could not agree on a date and time because various councilors wanted to watch their favorite human basketball teams play in the Bubble. After hours of disagreeing by email on a meeting date, it finally dawned on them what the solution was: They needed to hold the games in a “bubble.”

Normally the Cheek Pouch Stuffing Games occurs on an Olympic size stage where the athletes compete side by side competing through the various rounds of competition. Instead each athlete would compete in their own bubble. The rules clearly stated the contestants had to seal themselves inside the bubble during the three minutes they had to stuff their cheeks. (Each bubble holds five minutes worth of breathable air).

 For “bubbles” we used discarded N95 mask shipping containers which we scrounged out of recycling barrels. A worker is pushing the bubble towards the games arena.

 

Almost in position. The bubble needed to be just right for the live broadcast cameras.

 

 To avoid any appearance of bias in the officiating of the games, we hired a squirrel referee.

 

Bushy the Squirrel carefully inspects everything.

 

Hey Bushy, taste testing all the seeds is not part of your official duties!

 

The defending champion from last year, assumes the starting position. He is using a special breathing technique to stretch his cheek pouches.

The defending champion has the fastest start time getting into the bubble. Every second counts in this timed event.

He finds the bubble is really slowing him down. So he flips the cover off … and gets disqualified by the referee! Wow, what an unexpected turn of events.

Everyone has been watching Sammy the Stuffer as a new and upcoming star in the games. A lot of wagers were placed on him winning. As he watched the reigning champion struggle with the bubble and get disqualified he thought he had the perfect solution. He would prop the bubble open just a bit with a stick. The referee wasn’t amused and tossed him out of the games.

The host critter community is allowed one contestant in the games. The Woodpile was represented by Jenny. She owns the “Twisted Seed” eatery which specializes in deep fried sunflower seeds. With so many front runners disqualified she actually had a fair chance. She made it through to the final round. She was quick into the bubble. Here she is just about to seal the bubble tight before beginning to stuff her cheeks. All the other finalists who were too busy doing their signature poses for the cameras were caught off guard by the sound to begin stuffing. In their rush to make up for those lost seconds none of them sealed their bubbles. After the three minutes of competition were completed no winner was announced. The referee and game officials were seen conferring with each other (socially distanced of course). After ten minutes of agonizing delay as the referee reviewed camera footage to verify the violations, Jenny was declared the winner. As much as it pains me to admit this, it sometimes pays to follow the rules.

 

A short video 




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