Grand Lady of the Greenway

Every morning, I get together with my buddies for coffee. A couple of months ago, we made a friendly wager as to who could grow the most amount of sunflowers. I really want to win this bet, so, I planted a thousand sunflowers. I didn’t realize how much work that involved. I have to water them, fertilize them, and weed them. It turns out the second place guy only planted a hundred, so, I way over did it. After two months of work in my garden, I needed a day off. I asked Mom for a recommendation. She  recommended the Rose Kennedy Greenway in Boston. The Greenway has a bit of everything, beautiful gardens, art, water park, and carousel. All of this beauty in the middle of the skyscapers!? It sounded intriguing.

I got a bus ticket and headed into the city. The bus went through the Ted Williams Tunnel. I have seen a lot of tunnels and burrows in my time but was this truly amazing. A tunnel that goes under Boston Harbor and big enough to drive a bus through it. We chipmunks have to rethink tunnel design. I hate to admit it but you humans have definitely outdone us in this category.

The bus pulled into South Station. I got down to the street level. I made the mistake of looking up. I had to crane my neck so far back to see the top of the buildings, I tipped over backwards. Whoa, these buildings are 100 to 200 times higher than the Woodpile! Apparently, humans like to live and work in these things.

These humans must be exercise nuts. Imagine having to climb these stairs just to bring up the groceries. No thanks.

 

This bar serves so many different brews, the bar stretches across four floors. They certainly do everything BIG in the city. I dropped in for a tall glass of ice cold lemonade. (After spending two months tending sunflowers, I wanted to taste something other than sunflower Ale!) I was chatting with some of the locals and mentioned I was on my way to the Greenway. “Oh, you must be heading to see the Grand Lady of The Greenway.” I smiled and just went along with it. I had no idea who this Grand Lady was, never heard of her.

After wandering around this concrete and brick human jungle, I was relieved to find a ribbon of greenery. This must be the Greenway. As I step into this oasis, I was greeted by some fellow critters. “Welcome to the Greenway.” The welcome committee consisted of three house sparrows. I offered them some sunflower seeds but they had no idea how to crack a seed open. They have spent their entire lives eating human food. I had the opportunity to introduce them to sunflowers and gained some new “converts.” They were surprised how good tasting “natural” critter food was. Before I left them, they suggested I share my seeds with the Grand Lady of the Greenway. I thought they were pulling my tail but politely agreed to their suggestion. I am assuming this is some sort of joke that the locals play on tourists. I was on to their game.

Some of the city ‘munks maintain a small sunflower garden.

 

The flowers along the Greenway were breathtaking. I wonder what it takes to maintain all of this?

Well, it was just my luck I ran into the head greens keeper for the Greenway. This rabbit is in charge of selecting the grass species for the greens and for cutting them. I asked what his secret grass mix was. Since I was a fellow critter, he didn’t mind letting me on the secret. He uses 50% clover seed. His team of rabbit mowers can’t eat enough clover. They show up everyday hungry to get to work. The strangest thing, he asked me to pass along the message to Grand Lady. He didn’t strike me as the practical joke type.

 

The artwork is pretty amazing. This mosaic uses stones and seashells along with the traditional bits of tiles.

Partway along the greenway I found this circular area paved with different colored stones. I started to explore it to figure why someone would pave over the greenery. I found some small openings in the stones which I peered into. The next thing I know I was flying straight upward on a geyser of water! I have heard about the geyser in Yellowstone National Park, I never knew we had them in Boston. They really should put up some up signs to warn us critters of this unexpected hazard.

After drying myself off from my geyser shower, I looked up and was surprised to see a turkey on the Greenway. She must be another tourist liker myself.

I introduce myself and said I had a rather strange question to ask: Did everyone keep telling her about the Grand Lady of the Greenway? She chuckled and invited me to sit with her on the park bench. I shared some of my sunflower seeds with her. She told me the story about how she arrived in the city about a year ago penniless. Apparently no one had ever seen a turkey in the city before and they kept asking lots of questions – who are you? What are you doing in the city? She thought she would have some fun and made up of a tale that she was a rich duchess from England on an extended holiday. All the best hotels competed with each other to have her stay with them. Everyone started to treat her with respect and addressed her as “my lady.” The humans would even stop and give her seeds and peanuts to eat. This is how she became the “Grand Lady of the Greenway.”

She currently lives in a luxury suite at the Boston Harbor Hotel. We had a very pleasant chat. Before, I took my leave, she gave me a ticket for a ferry ride to Georges Island in the Harbor. (I will tell you about that adventure next week.) She gets all sorts of freebies which she gives away. She hands them out to her fellow critters who think she's rich and generous. This helps to reinforce her persona on the Greenway.

 

Newspapers

A few weeks ago, I talked about how we developed marketing ideas for critter uses of L.L. Bean boots. Our best idea was to turn the boots into a roadster. We had another brainstorming meeting coming up to discuss where to advertise the product. I started by rummaging through recycling bins for magazines and newspapers. I found a couple of New York Times. They have all sorts of different sections ranging from travel to business to technology.

I am fascinated by the fact you humans find so much to talk and write about every day. If I read the newspaper from the front page to the last page it would take a few hours. I swear by the time I am done with it, the next day’s paper has arrived and I have to start all over again. I was talking with one of our human neighbors, and he made an interesting observation. He thinks the amount of reading time for a newspaper like the Times is tied to the length of the daily commute in a major city. Commuters are thus distracted from the ridiculous time it takes them to get to the job by the newspaper and therefore don’t have time to think up ways to get the politicians to fix the traffic problems. Now that I think about it, the size of coffee cups has also increased with the longer commutes. At the rate things are going, newspapers will become book length, and coffee will be served in gallon jugs!

I digress from the task at hand - advertising our L.L. Bean boots to critters. Let me check the circulation statistics. Interesting, 33% of the readership is critters. A high percentage of them have “disposable income” (translation – they can buy unique luxury items.) 70% have college degrees. That is good to know. We need to design an ad that appeals to their intellect as well as there social status. Which section should we run the ad in? I didn’t realize advertising required so much research.

 I found this mint condition newspaper in the recycling bin.

There is a lot of material to read, I better get grab some snacks.

This seed has gone past it expiration date – yuck!

Interesting, the Times is reporting that human population growth in the U.S. is at its lowest. I wonder if this will affect the growth rate of backyard bird feeders sales? I think I should sell my stock in bird feeder companies now.

 Have you ever noticed how the color of states seem to change from one week to another? In the last election states were either red or blue. Now they are pastel blue and orange.

Hold on the colors have changed again. This newspaper from the next day has some states yellow and others green and a whole bunch of them have simply disappeared. I really wish you humans could make up your minds, it is so confusing.

This graphic is eye-catching. It looks like a bunch of worms attacking an apple. The person who already took a bite out of the apple is in for a big surprise. I got to read the article and found out how it ends.

That’s interesting, the article is actually about covering your digital tracks. This could come in handy. I want to order sunflower seeds crossbred with hot peppers for a practical joke. I plan on mailing them to certain people. The U.S. Post Office frowns on such use of the official mail. I need to make sure my orders are untraceable. This article offers a step-by-step guide. Oh, last step says “Don’t post what your doing on social media.” I am sure my loyal fans who read my blog can keep a secret, right?

Prefab Burrow

Normally I tune into the National Critter Weather Service but their transmitter was down the other day. They have 98% accuracy rating. Instead I tuned into one of those network news stations that humans favor. What a mistake. The forecast was for sunny and 90 degrees. I thought, a great day to start repairing the roof of the burrow (a two day project). By the end of day I had the old water proofing materials removed and I was ready to install the new stuff the next day. About 7pm, dark clouds rolled in, the wind picked up to 40 mph, and a few minutes later the sky opened up. We had thunder and lighting and monsoon rains. Seriously how could the human forecasters miss a major rain event? My wife and myself ran around the burrow placing buckets and bowls everywhere.

 After the deluge passed, my wife pulled out the latest copy of Critter Home and Garden magazine. They had a feature story on prefab burrows – water proof, earthquake proof, guaranteed against cave-ins, no excavation required and you can move it if you don’t like your neighbor. The next day we decided to see if all the hype was true. We dropped by the model burrow at the factory store. We told the sales rep our sad tale. She shook her whiskers and said she had heard this story from too many customers. To cheer us we got the VIP tour of the model burrow.

The basic one bedroom model is 24 inches in length and made from American steel. It is completely indestructible and water proof. As many as eight additional bedrooms can be added as side tunnels.

 I was a bit skeptical and wanted a closer look.

 

Hmmm, 1/8 inch steel and waterproof paint sealant. Impressive.

 

Spacious main living tunnel.

“Hey honey, come check out the wi-fi enabled smart appliances. The trash can sends your kids a reminder text when to take the trash out and cuts off their internet connection until they take care of it.

“Custom made curved TV screen to match the burrow’s curvature, ingenious.”

Wow, auxiliary seed storage tunnels on either side of the main burrow with built-in seed dispenser, no more  rummaging round dark storage cabinets

The wife came back out and wanted to know if it came in other any other colors. The sale rep whipped out the 20 page color sample book and the two of them discussed the options.

I checked out the exterior. No earth covering need. No more pushing dirt a round with my paws. I just wish we could afford it.

What great views from the top. This makes a great lookout for predators. The sales rep mentioned a jacuzzi in the master bedroom, I going back inside to check it out. How much trouble could my wife get into looking at color samples?

I was still exploring the demo burrow when I overhead my wife pop out the burrow entrance and say, “We’ll take it! How soon can it be delivered?”

Unsure my ears had heard correctly, I rushed out to hear the distinctive sound that comes with my wife putting a paw print on a deal. Yikes, I am going to have to get a second job to pay the mortgage!

My wife apparently saw the shocked looked on face, and said “Chippy, I forget to tell you last evening, a check arrived from dear aunt Betsey’s lawyer, she left me 50,000 seeds in her will.