Sunday, August 8, 2021

The "Tail" of Two Bookstores

People seem to have the impression that the Woodpile is a rough and tumble backwoods community. I am sure the many adventures I share on this blog contribute to that notion. I want to assure my loyal readers, we do have some culture, we have two bookstores! In fact we have the oldest bookstore in the critter world and the distinction of the newest bookstore.

The Upside Down Mouse Hole Bookstore is celebrating its 300th anniversary this month. It got started back in 1721. Way back then, they had to print their own books before they could sell them. Today they stock books from the major publishers. The store has been in the same family for the entire time and is still located at the same upside down mouse hole. The place is quite famous, and critters from across the country visit it every year. It has become a destination similar to humans flocking to see the “Cheers” bar in Boston.

Recently, a young ‘munk returned to the Woodpile after getting his business degree at college. He scampered around to all the local businesses and proceeded to tell them how old fashion and out-of-date they were. Folks quickly tired of his chatter and challenged him to setup his own business and prove his newfangled ideas were better. Everyone thought he was all talk and no action.

The Woodpile woke up a few days later to find the grand opening of a new bookstore, called the Mouse Hole Book Store. It was strategically located between the station were all the tourists arrive and our beloved ancient book store. The tourists seemed oblivious to the fact that the new store was missing a word from its name. Not to mention, the store was nothing more than a repurposed warehouse with a mouse hole cut out of a piece of cardboard and taped to a milk crate for an entrance.

I suspect the free sparkling cider being served in a large bowl outside the store was an effective distraction. Out of curiosity I got myself a cup and I must admit it was good stuff. The new fella did not skimp, he got the expensive imported brand.


Wanting to know what exciting surprises awaited them inside the store after tasting the sparkling cider, there was a steady stream of customers heading through the door.

The owner of the Upside Down Mouse Hole was understandably furious after sneaking over to checkout of the new store. He called his lawyer claiming unfair business practices. His lawyer agreed but said it would take months to sort this out in court and recommended a dose of old fashion competitiveness.

He went over to the new store and announced he was serving free Godiva sunflower seeds at the original Upside Down Mouse Hole. I have never seen a store empty out so fast in my life.

Customers browsed the book selection while they gobbled down Godiva sunflower seeds.


One hour later, the owner of the original store noticed things had gotten awfully quiet. He poked his head out of the famous upside down mouse hole entrance and found absolutely no customers.

The new store had announced a 15% off sale. The customers were hooked.


The new bookstore owner was shocked to find his good fortune didn’t last long.
All his customers disappeared.

 

The old store had announced a 25% sale. The books were selling so fast, they had to adjust the log bookend to close the gaps on the shelves.

The new store owner contemplated his next marketing move. He yelled over to the old owner and said he was going to offer a 40% off sale. The old store owner replied he would offer one free book for every three a customer bought and challenged him to beat that! (The old store owner was being clever, buy three get one free is same as 25% off sale he was already running). Unwilling to be outdone by his competitor, the new store owner decided to offer his books for free. There was no way his competitor to beat that offer. It worked his stored was mobbed with customers till closing time.

The old store owner watched patiently as the new store “sold” completely out of its inventory and went bankrupt all in one day.

The shocked look of the new store owner after checking his balance sheet … was priceless.


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